A Metro Valentine

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From JB.:

Dear WMATA,

I've been offloaded, delayed, jerked around and abused by your employees. I've been late to work, dates, interviews, appointments, brunches, lunches, dinners, movies, concerts, meetings and even a funeral thanks to you. For as long as I've been a regular user, I've pretty much hated you.

Yet despite our rocky history, over the past few days, I've felt butterflies, almost giddiness, whenever I hear your name in the news.

Why? Because you're not operating, well barely anyway, and that means no work for me!

Your epic ability to fail, has bequeathed me five and a half bonus days off and counting!

Your incompetence, to this point, has been infuriating, but over this past week, I've felt a wave of forgiveness wash over me. I am completely confident in my lack of confidence in you.

I don't know how to start thanking you. I temporarily take back every bad thing I ever said about you. All your bumbling, all of that pain in the bank, is finally paying off, and in a big way!

In any other city, I'd have been at work, stuck behind my desk. But thanks to your ineptitude, I've been at home, smiling, feet up, in my PJs, sipping wine, catching up on old movies, and working on that novel I promised myself I'd one day write.

Consider us even--for now.

And as a small measure of my gratitude, I ask simply for you to be my Valentine.

Keep on suckin'! K?

Let's see if we can work some closures out for April showers!

Love,
Your newest, biggest fan (for this week anyway)