Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Metro Haiku


You knew it was coming.

Spring is in the air--sorta. Hanami time.

5-7-5 folks. Here's a few to get the ball rolling.


From TCrad:
From the Metro car
people on the platform are
silhouette figures

From Marianne S.:
Doors closing again
and again and again and
again forever

From Mike B.:
Red, Blue, Orange, Green
Does Yellow even matter?
Metro makes me mean

Farecard is broken
who do I ask for help now
kiosk man sleeps sound

From McG:
Automatic trains
a memory of the past
WMATA whiplash

Mystery elbow
stabbing my lower lumbar
read your news later

The sick passenger
fell at my knees unconscious
shut the whole line down

From Roma
My ride this morning
delivered me safely and
on time. I just drove.

Station manager
a glorified door keeper
Swill coffee all day

I left work at noon
Just to arrive home after
the evening rush hour.

From "P"
The Orange line sucks *ss
No need for civility
Off the pole fatty

Unaware tourists:
Your stroller blocks my egress
No one likes Billings

From JoTrex:
Red Line stalls again
anger rising to a boil
move this f*cking train!

Other items:
More jurisdiction funding seems unlikely (WaPo)
Man charged with rape, carjacking at Largo metro (Examiner)

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

Flames out my window
No employee in site here
Woe is me, I fry.

Anonymous said...

Here goes the increase
My wallet is shrinking hard
I soon might be broke.

Anonymous said...

Oh way to simple
Metro's flaws easy to jest
Why have I no wings?

(This really is way too easy with so many Metro muck-ups to pick on... :)

Sarah said...

Escala-lefters: moot
point when escalators don't
work. Thank you, Metro?

Anonymous said...

creepy combover
you aren't fooling anyone
don't look down my shirt

Anonymous said...

Hell's not so pleasant
pain, anguish, seven circles
room for eight? Metro!

Anonymous said...

slamming breaks jerk me
violent rollercoaster
operator sleeps

DP said...

A disruption cleared
truly meaningless statement
falling off platform

Anonymous said...

the red line delayed
today a switch malfunction
tomorrow who knows?

Elissar said...

metro might kill me
maybe not in a train crash
but with its delays

Anonymous said...

i see you eating
crumbs pepper your coat jacket
mustard on your lips

Anonymous said...

Station manager
Giving me the evil eye
All I did was smile

Eddy said...

metro driver speaks

seductive, throaty rhythym:

"red line shady grove"

Anonymous said...

Chechen rebel bombs.
METRO holds an exercise.
Time to ride my bike!

Anonymous said...

Smelly tourists stink
in the fetid heat of summer
deodorant man!

Anonymous said...

Catoe gone for good,
Sarles holds the interim.
Congress build it new!

Anonymous said...

SmartTrip is not smart.
FareCard's not fair. What of the
Center of the car?

Anonymous said...

At Metro Center,
Red trains empty too slowly,
Doors closed, we got screwed

Anonymous said...

The escalators,
They're all f*cking broken,
Transit on the cheap

Dan said...

So much room there is
In the middle of the car
Yet no one takes it

Anonymous said...

Snow storm hits Metro
Station managers are too
Fat to shovel snow

Anonymous said...

MJ's - "Black or White,"
All are the same on Metro,
In hellish limbo

Anonymous said...

Please don't sit on me
You overlap your own seat
Try standing next time

Anonymous said...

Oh beautiful girl
I ponder talking to you
Your earbuds say no

Anonymous said...

Metro carpet stench
a good idea in the 70s
gone way wrong today

Anonymous said...

stopped in the tunnel
nothing but darkness around
when will i get home?

Anonymous said...

Unsuck Metro Blog
My sanity lives in you
Thank you for my laughs

Anonymous said...

Fry me fry me oh
where are my hot dogs and buns?
Might as well eat too.

Unsuck DC Metro said...

@Anon 4:29 You're welcome!

Anonymous said...

good intentions haunt
these dank undersized tunnels
future vision nul

Anonymous said...

Why would somebody
Bitterly and selfishly
End their life in here

Anonymous said...

Dear tourist mommy
We all have to work you see?
Vanquish your stroller!

Anonymous said...

A train on fire
Has disrupted service on
The Orange and Blue Lines

Crews have been dispatched
To fix the situation
And move train off line

We apologize
For the inconvenience and
Thanks for your patience

Anonymous said...

Little tiny mouse
Scampering on the Dupont
Circle platform. Eek!

Anonymous said...

"There's another train
Directly behind": famous
Lie told by Metro

Anonymous said...

Springtime is the time
For love ... and long delays on
The blue and red lines.

Anonymous said...

May we get to our
Destination in one piece:
That is what I pray

Amanda said...

"Thank you for choosing
Metro." If I had a choice
Do you think I would?

Amanda said...

Catoe on his way
Out. Leaving Metro for good.
Wish I could follow.

Amanda said...

Cornfed tourists - GIT!
Or I'll show you some DC
hospitality!

Unsuck DC Metro said...

Hey Amanda (http://www.blogger.com/profile/03932855086560517798), for some reason your comments won't publish. Here they are.

"Thank you for choosing
Metro." If I had a choice
Do you think I would?

Catoe on his way
Out. Leaving Metro for good.
Wish I could follow.

Cornfed tourists - GIT!
Or I'll show you some DC
hospitality!

Anonymous said...

Tourists on the left
Standing still, don't move their feet
Get out of my way!

Anonymous said...

the faregate is not
the time to dig in your bag
out of my damn way

Anonymous said...

A town full of "stars"
None of them deigns take Metro
No wonder it sucks

Anonymous said...

Manager helped me!
Actually doing his job!
This must be a dream.

Anonymous said...

Early morning seats
Marred by Rosslyn's putrid smell
Melted brakes are fun

Anonymous said...

(To the newbie riders at rush hour)

Why I don't shove you
Screaming, to the tracks below:
My train would be late.

Anonymous said...

Turn your ipod down
Whole car can hear it blast so
Will choke you for it

Anonymous said...

thugs on the platform
no metro cop to be found
get a job scumbags

Anonymous said...

Senators useless
Thugs drive the metro buses
I need Metro Mace.

Anonymous said...

The doors would not close
They had to offload the train
I wept tears of rage

Anonymous said...

Once I rejected
Very Good Job because I
would have to Metro

Anonymous said...

Riders wanna hate
Sat in a puddle of piss
I would be pissed too

Dating is My Hobby said...

Late to work again
boss starting to wonder, hmm
new job with Metro?

tk said...

waiting for the train,
n00bs rush doors, pushing me back.
where's the seniority!?!?!

Kailey said...

Hand sanitizer
please do not run out today
jam-hand kids on train

Starlet said...

trapped in parking lot
don't own a smart trip card
bursting with fury

NessMonster said...

Groin-to-groin contact
On Red Line – new meaning for
“Metrosexual?”

Garbled announcements –
Only one word heard clearly:
“Joo-di-shoo-arry.”

Olympic Event:
“Regretting Inconvenience” –
Metro takes the gold!

NessMonster said...

Yard Stop on Red Line –
Only Metro passenger
Who gets good service.

It breathes not, it has
No ticket – why does your bag
Receive its own seat?

J said...

At my home station.
Train stops then lurches forward.
Banged my head on pole.

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