Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Metro Haiku
You knew it was coming.
Spring is in the air--sorta. Hanami time.
5-7-5 folks. Here's a few to get the ball rolling.
From TCrad:
From the Metro car
people on the platform are
silhouette figures
From Marianne S.:
Doors closing again
and again and again and
again forever
From Mike B.:
Red, Blue, Orange, Green
Does Yellow even matter?
Metro makes me mean
Farecard is broken
who do I ask for help now
kiosk man sleeps sound
From McG:
Automatic trains
a memory of the past
WMATA whiplash
Mystery elbow
stabbing my lower lumbar
read your news later
The sick passenger
fell at my knees unconscious
shut the whole line down
From Roma
My ride this morning
delivered me safely and
on time. I just drove.
Station manager
a glorified door keeper
Swill coffee all day
I left work at noon
Just to arrive home after
the evening rush hour.
From "P"
The Orange line sucks *ss
No need for civility
Off the pole fatty
Unaware tourists:
Your stroller blocks my egress
No one likes Billings
From JoTrex:
Red Line stalls again
anger rising to a boil
move this f*cking train!
Other items:
More jurisdiction funding seems unlikely (WaPo)
Man charged with rape, carjacking at Largo metro (Examiner)
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60 comments:
Flames out my window
No employee in site here
Woe is me, I fry.
Here goes the increase
My wallet is shrinking hard
I soon might be broke.
Oh way to simple
Metro's flaws easy to jest
Why have I no wings?
(This really is way too easy with so many Metro muck-ups to pick on... :)
Escala-lefters: moot
point when escalators don't
work. Thank you, Metro?
creepy combover
you aren't fooling anyone
don't look down my shirt
Hell's not so pleasant
pain, anguish, seven circles
room for eight? Metro!
slamming breaks jerk me
violent rollercoaster
operator sleeps
A disruption cleared
truly meaningless statement
falling off platform
the red line delayed
today a switch malfunction
tomorrow who knows?
metro might kill me
maybe not in a train crash
but with its delays
i see you eating
crumbs pepper your coat jacket
mustard on your lips
Station manager
Giving me the evil eye
All I did was smile
metro driver speaks
seductive, throaty rhythym:
"red line shady grove"
Chechen rebel bombs.
METRO holds an exercise.
Time to ride my bike!
Smelly tourists stink
in the fetid heat of summer
deodorant man!
Catoe gone for good,
Sarles holds the interim.
Congress build it new!
SmartTrip is not smart.
FareCard's not fair. What of the
Center of the car?
At Metro Center,
Red trains empty too slowly,
Doors closed, we got screwed
The escalators,
They're all f*cking broken,
Transit on the cheap
So much room there is
In the middle of the car
Yet no one takes it
Snow storm hits Metro
Station managers are too
Fat to shovel snow
MJ's - "Black or White,"
All are the same on Metro,
In hellish limbo
Please don't sit on me
You overlap your own seat
Try standing next time
Oh beautiful girl
I ponder talking to you
Your earbuds say no
Metro carpet stench
a good idea in the 70s
gone way wrong today
stopped in the tunnel
nothing but darkness around
when will i get home?
Unsuck Metro Blog
My sanity lives in you
Thank you for my laughs
Fry me fry me oh
where are my hot dogs and buns?
Might as well eat too.
@Anon 4:29 You're welcome!
good intentions haunt
these dank undersized tunnels
future vision nul
Why would somebody
Bitterly and selfishly
End their life in here
Dear tourist mommy
We all have to work you see?
Vanquish your stroller!
A train on fire
Has disrupted service on
The Orange and Blue Lines
Crews have been dispatched
To fix the situation
And move train off line
We apologize
For the inconvenience and
Thanks for your patience
Little tiny mouse
Scampering on the Dupont
Circle platform. Eek!
"There's another train
Directly behind": famous
Lie told by Metro
Springtime is the time
For love ... and long delays on
The blue and red lines.
May we get to our
Destination in one piece:
That is what I pray
"Thank you for choosing
Metro." If I had a choice
Do you think I would?
Catoe on his way
Out. Leaving Metro for good.
Wish I could follow.
Cornfed tourists - GIT!
Or I'll show you some DC
hospitality!
Hey Amanda (http://www.blogger.com/profile/03932855086560517798), for some reason your comments won't publish. Here they are.
"Thank you for choosing
Metro." If I had a choice
Do you think I would?
Catoe on his way
Out. Leaving Metro for good.
Wish I could follow.
Cornfed tourists - GIT!
Or I'll show you some DC
hospitality!
Tourists on the left
Standing still, don't move their feet
Get out of my way!
the faregate is not
the time to dig in your bag
out of my damn way
A town full of "stars"
None of them deigns take Metro
No wonder it sucks
Manager helped me!
Actually doing his job!
This must be a dream.
Early morning seats
Marred by Rosslyn's putrid smell
Melted brakes are fun
(To the newbie riders at rush hour)
Why I don't shove you
Screaming, to the tracks below:
My train would be late.
Turn your ipod down
Whole car can hear it blast so
Will choke you for it
thugs on the platform
no metro cop to be found
get a job scumbags
Senators useless
Thugs drive the metro buses
I need Metro Mace.
The doors would not close
They had to offload the train
I wept tears of rage
Once I rejected
Very Good Job because I
would have to Metro
Riders wanna hate
Sat in a puddle of piss
I would be pissed too
Late to work again
boss starting to wonder, hmm
new job with Metro?
waiting for the train,
n00bs rush doors, pushing me back.
where's the seniority!?!?!
Hand sanitizer
please do not run out today
jam-hand kids on train
trapped in parking lot
don't own a smart trip card
bursting with fury
Groin-to-groin contact
On Red Line – new meaning for
“Metrosexual?”
Garbled announcements –
Only one word heard clearly:
“Joo-di-shoo-arry.”
Olympic Event:
“Regretting Inconvenience” –
Metro takes the gold!
Yard Stop on Red Line –
Only Metro passenger
Who gets good service.
It breathes not, it has
No ticket – why does your bag
Receive its own seat?
At my home station.
Train stops then lurches forward.
Banged my head on pole.
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