It's Not Just Metro

For all the time we’ve spent calling Metro a ghastly stupid system—which it is--we feel obligated to report that there are certainly equally imbecilic passengers littering the system with their shenanigans.
Today on board an Orange Line train we witnessed a complete moron, toting a rather large suitcase, try to shoehorn himself into an incredibly tight car. The end result was his ass was hanging out of the door as they shut. He was finally able to wriggle free, but his heel remained stuck. To our surprise, the door didn’t open, and he basically had to pull his leg out from the door’s clutches. Now, maybe we’ve all tried a stunt like this--you can’t totally blame someone for wanting to get home after a day of work--but what got us in the end was how he shook his head in disgust as if it were Metro’s fault. The audacity of dumb.
Luckily, this man’s impatience didn’t cause Metro's fragile little doors to go FUBAR, as they are wont to do, and the train went on its way.