Red Line Adds Two New Stops

Hey, we never really wanted to talk about death here. Getting stuck on a train under the Potomac for nearly an hour is morbid enough.
Our intent here was to create a funny little blog to make Metro a bit better or, at the very least, give us all a chance to laugh at the suck that all too often is WMATA.
But with this photo, we're confronted with a grim reality that might be funny to some, unpleasant to others. We think it's hilarious.
So, without further ado, our award for best unintentional, Metro-related gallows humor of the month goes to the Alliance for Care at the End of Life for this ad campaign at Union Station.
Alliance, we know you do necessary albeit often unpleasant work, but really, after or before dealing with Metro is the last place we want to be reminded that we're gonna die lingering deaths.
Weird how they picked the Red Line.
Thanks to Red Line rider (hopefully not heading this far down the line anytime soon) Jessica for this contribution!
Oh, and don't forget to vote in the Red Line nickname poll. The winning name will be how we refer to the Red Line until we're in a hospice or dead, so choose wisely. Red Death seems likely to benefit from this post.

Even In the Event of Possible Decapitation, Do Not Block Doors!

From "M" on the Red Line:
At approximately 8:35 a.m. yesterday morning, I was on a train to Shady Grove heading into work. At Takoma Park, a woman with a rolling suitcase began to board the train. It had rained overnight, so the platform was wet and slippery. As she headed in, she tripped and fell quite hard on the platform. She looked to be in pain, and both passengers inside the train and outside came to her aid. She was visibly upset and clutching her wrist.
A passenger on the platform was waving to the conductor to not close the doors and to wait. From where I was sitting, it appeared that part of her had landed partially in the doorway, so I wasn't surprised that one of the inside passengers attempted to hold the door open when the chimes rang that they were closing. Frantically, the passenger on the platform pulled the woman out of the doorway just as they were closing.
As the train pulled out of the station, the conductor angrily announced over the intercom that "passengers are advised that no matter what, do not block the doors from closing. Ever." This "announcement" elicited more than a few middle fingers and "what the hell?" grumblings from the passengers in my car who were simply trying to help an injured woman.
I am completely at a loss as to why this conductor handled this situation SO poorly. I have no idea if the women hit her head, or suffered any other injury where having to move her that quickly could have injured her further. Conductors have a responsibility to be aware of their surroundings and respond appropriately. Today, they did not.

Perhaps they were ogling again.

Other news:
Just when you thought federal funding was looking good... (WTOP) We disagree with the writer saying the federal funding "would" fix Metro's problems. We would have gone with "could."
Dulles Rail gets stim $ (WTOP)

All Lines Appear To Suck Equally

Over the past six weeks, we've been documenting Metro's "disruption" reports. Granted, they're often cryptic and don't give an indication of the ripple effects one disruption can cause. Still, it's good WMATA reports them.
We've unscientifically documented 232 disruptions that appear to be serious enough to cause ripple effects and leave people thinking Metro sucks. We leave out reports like "train delayed because of door problem" because it sounds like that train was able, in the end, to move people. We also omit sick passenger issues since those aren't Metro's fault.
232 disruptions over 30 work days is an ugly record of disservice in our opinion. It's almost 8 per day.
That said, your odds of being victim to a Metro meltdown, you might think, vary depending on the line you're on. Here's the ugliness broken down by line:

Red Line: 90 disruptions (39%)*
Orange Line: 61 disruptions (26%)
Green Line: 32 disruptions (14%)
Blue Line: 31 disruptions (13%)
Yellow Line: 14 disruptions (6%)

But ... these numbers are startlingly in line with the percentage of Metro's deployed cars each line utilizes. These are from 2008 (page 12),

Red Line: 34% of cars
Orange Line: 24% of cars
Blue Line: 17% of cars
Green Line: 16% of cars
Yellow Line: 7% of cars

Basically, it appears all the lines have about an equal chance of ruining your day. Yeah, the Red Line gets a lot of the glory, but its screw ups are pretty much par for the course.

Metro's own Jan. 2009 findings about "on-time performance" ranked the Red Line first. Metro's measurements include only peak-service times.

Red Line: 95%
Orange Line: 93%
Yellow Line: 93%
Blue Line: 91%
Green Line: 90%


* Percentages are rounded

Tweet of the day:
@theKyleBogucki escalators were down in the metro, i watched a man stand on the bottom reading a news paper for at least 15 second before he noticed

Other news:
Metro Transit Police arrest suspects for breaking into cars at Branch Avenue

Anyone Want to Make One for the Red/Orange Lines?

From the NY subway, but could be used for the Orange and Red lines.

Thanks, Tim, for the heads up.