Friday, January 8, 2010

For All Contemplating Riding with No Pants

Call us fuddy-duddies, but this whole No Pants Metro Ride is puzzling to say the least.

Why would anyone WANT to ride the Metro when they didn't have to, and why would they do so with no pants?

Don't get it. Never gonna do it. But there's a fair amount of buzz, and maybe it's a good time, so we'll leave it as a case of different strokes for different folks.

However, if you're going to let your bare skin meet a Metro seat, you might want to read the following post. It has to be one of the most disturbing non-fatal Metro experiences anyone has ever reported. The writer would like to remain anonymous.

I got on the Yellow Line at Pentagon City recently heading back to work at Gallery Place. Since it wasn't that crowded, I sat down on a seat that happened to have a newspaper on it.
Little did I realize I had just sat in a pile of bum crap camouflaged by the newspaper.
It was everywhere.
I got off at Pentagon, and after trying without luck to find help, some friends came to my rescue by bringing some clothes and driving me home where I took about five showers.
I then called Metro’s complaint line, and after leaving a voice mail, I got a call back the next day. You’d think they’d want to act ASAP if they had a train car rolling around that was filled with poop!
She did take my info and put me in touch with the claims department (all my clothing and shoes were ruined).
I have heard enough about having a “shitty day” to last me a lifetime.

Maybe it was the same person who did this:
7:14 p.m. An inbound Yellow Line train at Huntington was dispatched late because human waste was found on the train.
7:54 p.m. An inbound Orange Line train at Court House was delayed to allow Metro personnel to isolate a rail car because of human waste.

If you're undeterred and simply must ride with no pants, here's how:

Date: Sunday, January 10, 2010
Time: 3:00pm - 5:00pm
Location: C - street park by L'Enfant Plaza Station

Photo: jamescalder


Golden Silence said...

Yuck! I've made a habit out of looking before sitting. You never know what you'll find lurking in those seats...ew.

Anonymous said...

i once saw a bum take a crap in between the cars on the ny subway. he casually walked back, dropped trow and let er rip. at least he had the courtesy to not go on a seat.

Anonymous said...

I also check before sitting as I once sat in someone's gum and a friend sat in ink from a broken ballpoint left on the seat. (I'd love to hold Metro accountable but in this, they are victims, too I suppose.) And never, ever put your head against the window glass either.

I for one, do not go pantless, especially in 30 degrees with wind chill. I save my "hardiness" for daily metro commutes.

Happy pant-less-ing to all who do!

mike b said...

I was recently on a train that had a "quarantined" car. Now I can imagine what that was all about

Anonymous said...

So would this be solved to a degree if the metro bathrooms were not under lock and key?

Anne said...

I saw turds in a Red Line car in 2008! Thankfully there was no actual contact.

Lia said...

this is probably the scariest thing I have heard about the dc metro. i ride it every day, and have never ever considered something like this happening.

Anonymous said...

On my way home on the Red Line to Glenmont, at about 5:30 PM, in the back of a car a guy pissed in a Gatorade bottle and then tried to find someplace to put it on the crowded train as if this was an ordinary occurrence.

Anonymous said...

On the bus lines I ride (S2, S4, 42) I try to go out through the front door - the back doorways are frequently used as urinals and, sometimes, are completely awash in urine.

hrh king friday xiii said...

Um, I''ve been told (not sure if its true) that they only wipe down those trains once every two weeks.

Congrats, urban pranksters! You now have Metro herpes.

viagra online said...

this is probably the scariest thing I have heard about the dc metro. i ride it every day, and have never ever considered something like this happening.

Anonymous said...

I saw splattered blood in one of the rail cars on the red line towards Silver Spring. I had walked into the car and noticed newspaper everywhere and thinking people just left it there like it's usually the case i just sat down. Then i noticed red splatter marks all over the newspaper and then on the seat and the floor. That's when i realized it was blood. It was pretty creepy...

Anonymous said...

For everyone who saw something and did not report it or call Transit Police, you should be ashamed of yourself and deserve to ride in a dirty, filthy, and disease infested train. Some may think it is funny, but how would you feel if someone took a dump in your car or walked through your house with their junk hanging out?? SO, TAKE THAT STICK OF SELF-INTITLEMENT OUT OF YOUR ASS AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!!!!!!

Lindsay said...

Anonymous from Sept. 20:

Yes, if they didn't report it then they are partly at fault.
However, I don't invite people who do that kind of thing into my house. So yes, people who do deserve it. But everyone who respects deserve to be respected. It's hard to respect a person (or entity, in this case) who is unreliable, not on time, and has an excuse for everything.

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