Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What Do You Call ...


In DC ,we have the much hated escaleftors, but there's an even more malicious Metro maladroit mucking up the system: people who refuse to budge from the little walls right by many of the doors.

You know the move: step in, pivot left or right, attach butt to wall and keep it there until their destination is reached, no matter how many people have to squeeze and shimmy by to get on or off.

Reader Howard suggests "doormites," which is, according to him, the unofficial term for these fine folks in NYC.

Can we come up with something better in DC?

Photo:
karpov85

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

doordruff

Markydc said...

Door Scabs

Anonymous said...

Better still than a name, what are people's strategies for dealing with them? Push 'em out of the way? "Accidentally" hit them with your backpack when entering? Curse? Mutter? Seriously, what do people do to get the message across?

Anonymous said...

Carpes

Anonymous said...

Call them what they are: A**holes.

Anonymous said...

Targets for my fist.

Michael said...

I don't go out of my way to avoid shoving these "barrier lampreys".

Anonymous said...

doornacles

Anonymous said...

I like looking them right in the eye and "accidentally" stepping on their feet. It's especially gratifying if I'm wearing heels.

We also need a name for the people who lean against the poles so that nobody can hang onto the pole.

Anonymous said...

Doorminators?

My strategy is to walk right into them and bump them out of my way (as possible, I'm not huge). They waived their right to respectful treatment and I'm not going to miss a train just so they can stand in the door.

Anonymous said...

"Door"mant?

Anonymous said...

I do this, but only when I have only one or two stops to go. And I always step off the train to let people on and off before reclaiming my spot.

Anonymous said...

Step on their foot as you enter or exit.

David said...

>Targets for my fist.

Goodness, I hope not. This system doesn't need any more bad vibes than it already has. Mean people suck. Violent, threatening people maybe oughta be locked away from the rest of us...

"Door-mites" is a clever name...as for dealing with them, how about "seek first to understand, then to be understood?" If I am perched in that spot, it's because my stop is *next*; I don't block it during another stop, and I try to get on nearly-last, to keep from blocking the door for others. Without asking me, if you saw me there, would you know if my stop was next, or just assume I'm an obnoxious, unthinking lout?

We're all in this together, folks (and by *all*, that includes WMATA employees and management. All means all). Being combative and nasty to people who--just like you--want to get where they're going is rarely the most-useful strategy.

I know, I know. Some of you probably think I'm just some dumb hippie peacenik who'll never get ahead. Maybe not. But I won't die of high blood pressure, either.

Ryan Sims said...

Door whores is the first thing that comes to my mind. But I'm a sucker for the rhyme.

I prefer the bag-based beatdown. I carry a messenger bag; it's easy to *accidentally* swing from my side.

Anonymous said...

Sucky Transiter Disorder

Anonymous said...

Cramidia

amiller said...

I really like doornacles.

i definitely accidentally push them. and to those of you who say you do it for one or two stops, but get off to let others on/off, you're fine. You are not the ones we are griping about. That is proper etiquette.

What also bothers me is the people that move soooooo slooooowwwllyyy it's as though no one else is around.

If you don't feel constantly in a hurry in the system, you're in other peoples' ways.

Anonymous said...

I like Door Whores as well.

They particularly bug me when I'm trying to get off a crowded train and they refuse to step off to let more then one person exit at a time. On these occasions there is no excuse and I "accidentally" step on their feet on the way out every time. I figure if enough people do that they'll learn.

Anonymous said...

Doorngleberries

Anonymous said...

"Doorngleberries"

Beautiful.

Anonymous said...

I'm also "guilty" of this, but I always step off the train to let people on and then reclaim my spot. Why do I hang by the door? To try to get fresh air when the train stops, to keep from losing my lunch. After the switch to manual operation, I get serious motion sickness riding the metro. I figure people would prefer I stand by the door than the alternative :-).

raidenbomb said...

Doorcicles

Anonymous said...

I'm guilty of this too - if you move to the center of the train, as Metro constantly urges you to do, and the train keeps filling up, getting off at your destination becomes nearly impossible. "Excuse me," you say as assertively as you can to the giant man in the middle of the train, the two 20 somethings with leggings talking about God-knows-what, or the young man with his iPod so loud that you can hear the music. Their response? Either they glare at you, sigh heavily, or otherwise let you know that your metro stop is their inconvenience; or they just ignore you. This is the worse of the two, because then you have to find another way around the middle of the train - and the people on the other side may ignore you, too. Your final option is to just plow through people, but that seems a little more rude than standing by the doors.

It's not just the people by the doors who are rude on the Metro. As a general rule, everyone is rude on the Metro. Everyday becomes more of a "survival of the fittest" environment.

Anonymous said...

You may want to be careful about all of your threatening of "accidental" violence towards the door people. If you think you're entitled to "accidentally" hit them or step on them, they probably think they are entitled to "accidentally" trip you as you're walking out of the train in your fussy mood.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 10:42...I have heard the stories of people "stuck" in the middle of the train, but have yet to have it happen to me (that's 3 years and counting, every day on Metro). Even when I used to get off at Union Station, even when I'm going somewhere that requires me to transfer at Gallery Place, even after the Red Line crash when EVERYTHING was a mess, even when, even when...

It's not likely, though you do have to say "excuse me" loudly and agressively to get some people to move, or, you know, step on their toes (super effective). There's really no excuse for 50 people to crowd by the door and leave the middle of the train empty.

Steffers said...

Train malfunction

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 10:46 - Stepping on someone's foot who is blocking the exit is violence? Really?

I don't care. If they have the ability to step off the train and make things easier for everyone and they choose not too, then their foot is getting stepped on (not stomped). And no, I've never been tripped afterwards. To do that, they'd actually have to leave their spot by the door!

Anonymous said...

amen 11:22! The door whores are asshats plan and simple (not the ones that move.

Anonymous said...

I do this. I admit it. It's my biggest metro fault. Why? Well I prefer to stand by the door. I'm short, and if the train is full enough that I can't get back between the seats, I can't reach the ceiling poles. If there is seriously no room on the car and I'm not getting off immiediately, I move as far in as I can, but I definetly prefer the door wall.

I try to get on and off to let people get by at the doors, but half the time I CAN'T because people start piling into the train before people on the train can get off and/or there's no where to Step TO. I have actually missed a train more than once when I got off to "let others by" and couldn't get back on.

Anonymous said...

Another type of Transit Moron are the groupies that stand outside the closed metro door right in the middle of the exit path and expect you to magically find a way to exit the train.
My general response is to move directly forward and mutter "Moron" as I pass.
Doubtful they even understand why my comment is made. I have considered changing the phrase to "Move the F**k out of the way", but it would be a waste of breath.

Anonymous said...

You just need to mow those people down. If you're standing in front of the door of a full train and can't figure out that you need to move then you deserve to be run down. This really isn't all that difficult to figure out!

Anonymous said...

I don't mind this type of rider nearly as much as I hate it when a person steps onto the train by the merest of inches and then just stands there in the middle of the doorway trying to decide which way to move. So many times the door closes while this type of idiot blocks others from boarding because he/she is daydreaming their way from platform to railcar.

Anonymous said...

i push them out of the car at metro center. if youre that inconsiderate i have no time for you.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 11:48: If you think those people suck at life for where they stand, but you are justified in stepping on them or hitting them with a messenger bag, or whatever else, because Oh My God they inconvenienced you, then by far, you are the ruder person.

The people who stand by the doors do it because they selfishly want to be close to the escape (or whatever other reasons) - in other words, convenience. But you all seem to hate them for the same principle - what they do doesn't convenience you. How are you any better for complaining and trying to get revenge?

Seriously - why can't we all just take a breath and calm down when we're on the metro?

Anonymous said...

Doorks.

Anonymous said...

Oooo! I LOVE "doorks!" But I agree with Anon 1/13 1:14PM...everyone on the Metro just needs to calm down. Good reminder that we all need to practice a little more patience. Doorks ARE dorks, but there's no need to assault them. Why not try asking them politely to move? I find kindness usually gets you what you want much more efficiently than violence does.

Anonymous said...

+1 for Doorks.

The basic problem that this brings up is discourteous, inconsiderate, and rude behavior on the train.

When the train pulls into a station, watch for people exiting your car, and give them a little room to get by. This is a public conveyance, so do not wait to hear "Excuse me" or its equivalent before moving.

When waiting on the platform, stand aside from the doors to let people off, then enter. Loading/unloading is faster this way.

Move on into the car or onto the platform after crossing the door threshhold. Proceed at a safe, regular pace. This is not a contest to see who can walk most slowly.

If someone is walking very slowly, do not rudely shove past them. Pass by, but with some consideration.

When standing in the aisle in the center of the car, and there are open seats, make sure that you are not blocking access to those seats.

Watch your backpack/briefcase/satchel/purse/duffle bag/suitcase/grip/valise/totebag/gymbag/overnighter so it does not inadvertantly bump someone.

If you have placed any of the above mentioned luggage, or anything else, on the seat beside you because there are plenty of empty seats, move it out of the way to make the seat available when the car starts to fill up. Do this without being asked.

This is the Nation's Capital, but for goodness sake stop with the spread Eagle with the newspaper. Learn the "subway fold." It is easy to do.

No shoes on the seats. The grit that falls off will wind up on the trousers or dress of the next person to sit there.

In general, be aware that there are others using the system, and try to be considerate and thoughtful towards them, whether they reciprocate or not.

If none of this works, Mow 'em down.

Sorry for the long rant.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 12:13: Yeah, I see this all the time at Gallery Place and Metro Center - just the other had to give up and shove my way past two teenage girls that just stopped dead in the middle of the door, who then screamed "DAMN, B***H" toward me at top volume.

Anon @ 1:14: I'm sorry, but i've given up trying to be all Zen dealing with these people - if not missing a train & bus and adding 30+ minutes to my commute means I have to be momentarily rude to some oblivious person blocking a door or escalator, then so be it.

Anonymous said...

I usually have a funny saying for these posts hoping to perk people up a bit. But today there is nothing funny here. I am part of the motion sickness, way too short to reach the high poles, not so young anymore either group. I don't stand at the doors but do try to stay "near" them by the seats. Light-weights like me get nailed in the it's-not-violence-cause-you-deserved-it actions described above. I've been called a b***ch for being in the way yet they never once took a good look to realize I had nowhere to move to get out of their way.

For the first time since I discovered this site, it has me a wee bit depressed now.

I like the hippie peacenik's thinking. Can I stand by you on the next train?

Anonymous said...

Question!

amiller said...
i definitely accidentally push them. and to those of you who say you do it for one or two stops, but get off to let others on/off, you're fine.

How do you know who is "fine" and who is push-worthy?

Such assumptions are only making things worse all around. Metro employees are an excellent example of those results.

I just call 'em doorstoppers. If I were at home I'd use em to hold open the door so I could haul out the trash bags easier.

Anonymous said...

You know who is "fine" when they actually get OFF the train and stand slightly to the side at each station to let people get on and off

If they do NOT get off the train, but continue to stand in the doorway while tons of people try and get on and off then they are NOT fine and therefore deserve a toe crunch...

Anonymous said...

Did anyone say Ramorans? (take on ramora fish)

Anonymous said...

A little obscure, my friend at 5:52, but you made me think of Doorons.

HollyGoSmitely said...

I'm with Anonymous@11:22...

Except under extraordinary circumstances (like a train operator with an itchy trigger finger who closes the door two seconds after opening it), you can AlWAYS get off a train.

I've been riding the Orange line to and from work for almost 20 years. I've ridden it after the fireworks on the 4th of July. When I sit in a window seat, I don't make the person in the aisle seat stand until the train stops. And I have never NOT been able to get off.

If you can't get off, you're not trying hard enough. I'm not advocating physically assaulting people who are in the way (okay, maybe I am for the lame-asses who park themselves right by the door and don't step off the train to let you off). You simply have to be assertive. Say something! If they don't move, push through them. Sometimes a train is so crowded, you simply can't help but -- God forbid -- touch other people. It is not rude to push by people who don't, won't or even can't get out of the way. It IS rude to stand in the doorway or not make a good faith effort to get out of the way when people are exiting.

Anonymous said...

Doorkers.

I got called a doorker once....by some sweet old lady.










(I hope she fell and broke her hip on the platform, that bitch lol)

Anonymous said...

Seriously, some of the people commenting in this thread need to back up.
The idea, as I understand it, was to come up with a funny name for those people who crowd around the doors.
They deserve the mockery, and there are some great and hilarious nominations, but the internet bravado displayed in this thread?
Ha!
All you poseur toe steppers, shovers, bag swipers need to learn two words "excuse me."
That is all

Anonymous said...

David, I think you're EXACTLY right, and that's saying a lot considering I'm as conservative as you can get! :-) These people need to stop acting like PSYCHOS and deal w/the fact that a lot of people do rude/stupid/annoying things on Metro every day. Assault/battery however is NOT acceptable just because you don't like where someone stands on a train! GET REAL AND GET OVER IT PEOPLE! Try to find more important things to be concerned about in life.

Ryan Sims said...

I, at least, was joking about the bag swinging. I hardly believe anyone venting here to have committed assault and/or battery while attempting to get on or off of a train.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 1:14: I completely disagree. When I ride the Metro I am respectful of others. If I am standing in front of a door and it opens, I step off to let people out.

And if someone selfishly decides they will not move and force other people to have to knock into one another and elbow their way out of the train, then they fully deserve to be mildly inconvenienced by having their foot stepped on.

It's not so much that it inconveniences *me* so much as it inconveniences everyone trying to maneuver their way out of that car. People who do this are selfish asses and I have no sympathy for them when people like me decide to knock into them on our way out of the car. Heck, sometimes I can't even avoid knocking into them on my way out if I wanted to.

I don't make excuses for selfish a-holes. Glad to see that you do. Enabler.

Anonymous said...

The excellent set of common-sense courtesy rules from the commenter at 2:16, supplemented by Holly Go Smitely's observations on seat etiquette, should be printed up, posted in stations, and distributed to all riders once a month or so.

Anonymous said...

I am astonished at seeing the number of people who would used a non-violent, mature and civilized approach for a thing that bugs them so very often. Zero.

How does someone who is an inconvenience learn how to be better by getting violent treatment?

If you think this takes too much of your time and effort (to talk) then think about how much difference it can make on the long run if you spend a few minutes(probably the length of your train ride) talking to this one person about how his 'standing on the doorway' behavior is affecting other folks and it can be changed for a win-win situation.

Of course I studied about behavior change, but if are so annoyed by this then maybe to make your life a lil better, you can make good use of it too.

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