Thursday, May 20, 2010

One Small Concession


Hey Metro! We've got an idea to improve your withered image. Hear us out.

We know the bar is low. Seriously, it's way, way down there. We're pretty sure a slug has no problem getting over it. It's really more of an indentation, isn't it?

We also know the coming fare increases aren't going to improve your image or your performance.

Halfway, is not where you're meeting us. If it were, there'd be "peak of the peak service" to go along with "peak of the peak" fare increases, but you're not offering that. Really, the whole thing is a case of us meeting you on YOUR terms.

But here's one thing you can do for us. Just a teeny weeny, itsy bitsy concession. Now stay with is here, Metro. It's a wacky idea.

How about "Corpse-free Fridays?"

That's right. On Fridays alone you promise we won't see dead people, and we'll swallow the fare hikes.

Show a little respect for the deceased and for your riders, and inspect the trains like you say you do.

C'mon Metro. Make those massive increases worth it. Offering a corpse-free commute to kick off the weekend really is the least you can do.

Other items:
The latest on the Metro death (Examiner)
Woman attacked on Metrobus (Fox)
Nearly four decades in, and we're back to the basics (WMATA)/Post version
No Orange Line b/w WFC and EFC for three weekends (WMATA)
Unsuck on Kojo

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Macabre, very macabre, but funny. Can Metro do ANYTHING right?

Anonymous said...

Metro IS the coming zombie apocalypse.

Anonymous said...

I have seen the way metro "inspects" the trains at the yards before pushing them out for rush hour service. If the Metro definition of inspection is flashing the lights, the ok

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I am beginning to think the end of the world 2012 is a prediction relating to Metro.

Anonymous said...

You're killing me unsuck. Oh wait. Bad joke ;)

nevermindtheend said...

So you're holding WMATA responsible for natural deaths now? Should we ban people who are old/infirm from riding Metro on the off chance that they might suffer a heart attack or stroke?

Anonymous said...

@nevermindtheend... Um, no, I think we're saying that if Metro actually inspected the cars before taking them out of service, then this poor guy would have been found *hours* earlier. I think everyone operated under the assumption that there was some actual procedure besides saying "this train is now out of service."

dragonoflife said...

There's a substantial difference between "holding WMATA responsible for natural deaths" and "thinking it reasonable that Metro personnel actually inspect cars when they say they're inspecting them, instead of just lying and shipping the corpse-laded train to the rail yard."

Anonymous said...

What if someone was still alive, unnoticed and could be saved with medical care in time? They'd not have received it considering Metro did not bother to do something as simple as walk the cars before hauling that train into storage for the day.

nevermindtheend said...

I'm not arguing that WMATA doesn't need a policy in place that requires trains to be checked before they are put out of service. That is such a basic thing for any transit agency to do - for buses and trains - that it is unbelievable to me that they did not require it already. (And it's basic not only because you don't want people to accidentally be trapped on a train, but also for safety and security reasons.)

My point is merely that you can't hold WMATA responsible for someone dying suddenly within the metro system - or for committing suicide by jumping in front of a train or off a parking garage. So the whole "no corpses" thing, while I know it was meant to be morbidly humorous, is striking the wrong chord with me.

Anonymous said...

Well.. some of us have already posted we are not holding Metro accountable for someone dying of natural causes but indeed DO hold them accountable for their actions about it. As well we should. The two employees were suspended for what, 24 hours? Boy, that musta hurt. Not.

With how bad Metro is these days, the post strikes a strong chord with me. It is humor that is keeping me sane while riding Metro these days. It's all I have considering the increase in fees is going to make it hard to pay bills and get to work. So - Bring It On, Unsuck!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the kiosk queens went through his pockets when he was in the rail yard? I'm referring to the kiosk queens from a previous post who said they always check returned wallets and purses for cash.

Anonymous said...

Only you can help M hide the body? M?

Unsuck DC Metro said...

Think about it.

Anonymous said...

Should have just used the logo. It looks unfinished otherwise.

Anonymous said...

I like this blog, but this post is down right tacky. This incident proves that metro needs to improve many things, such as simply inspecting the cars more thoroughly. Someone died and cracking a joke is not the proper way to try and make a point about metro's incompetence.

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