Rider Declares Independence from Metro

From Paul:

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the bands which have connected him with his mass transit system, and to find alternate routes to work, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Travel and of Travel’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of the DC Metro area requires that he should declare the causes which impel him to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Metro customers are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are timeliness, safety, and a cost-efficient means of transportation.--That to secure these rights, mass transit systems are instituted among cities, deriving their just powers from the appropriate governing body, --That whenever any mass transit system becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of an aggrieved person to forego mass transit as a means of transportation, and to drive to work, thus maximizing  their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that mass transit systems long utilized should not be abandoned for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer delays, while delays are sufferable, than to right themselves by finding alternative means of transportation. But when a long train of delays and fare hikes, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to inconvenience riders without relief, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such forms of travel, and to provide alternate means of transportation for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these riders; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former method of going to work. The history of the present Metro Rail System is a history of repeated injuries and even deaths, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Incompetency. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

Metro has refused an open accounting of its internal deliberations.
Metro has instituted a bizarre and cruel pick system for escalator repair, thus causing such repairs to be of an unduly long duration.
Metro has repeatedly caved to the local union, thus enabling boorish, discourteous and even illegal behavior among its employees.
Metro has increased fares with no corresponding improvement in service.
Metro officials repeatedly deny malfeasance, its public relations representatives insisting that, to quote Kevin Bacon in Animal House, “all is well.”
Metro service has continually deteriorated, to the point where riders must now factor excessive delays into their travel time.
Metro officials refuse to provide adequate security, rendering certain stations and sections of the system completely unsafe for travel.
Metro’s flawed initial design and lack of a third rail means that future systems will be insufficient, and riders will continue to experience lengthy and unnecessary delays.

For these and other causes, and because now I have a parking pass and can drive to work, I consider myself a free and independent rider.
Signed this 31st day of October, 2012, AD.