Unsuck DC Metro: Ban This!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Ban This!

From Todd:

So there we were, my wife and I, coming back from seeing the cherry blossoms on Sunday. Images of beauty and all in our heads.

But things were about to change.

There's this woman in the seat across from us, and she whips her blouse off over her head.

Whoo-hoo. Living free.

But OK, she was wearing a singlet underneath, so it's all good. Nothing's "showing," so to speak. It's only PG-13.

Then, rummaging in a shopping bag, she pulls out another blouse.

I'm still cool, she's just going to get dressed again, I think, this probably happens every day.

But then she hauls out a stick of roll-on deodorant, the kind with the wide head, and proceeds to apply it generously. Spring breeze,we thought.

Maybe we should have been happy. Maybe she was applying it as a kindness to her fellow passengers.

Or maybe she wanted to freshen up for a date.

But the view of the armpit! Vast, exposed, right there and up close. I just wish I'd have been fast enough to get a picture for the Hall of Shame, but my eyes were fried, and I was paralyzed ("The horror! The horror!" to quote Kurtz from "The Heart of Darkness").

So, I have only my memories.

Comments (39)

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+2 Vote up Vote down

Ever and Anon · 730 weeks ago

oh Todd! i am impressed you can still speak coherently after that! That is truly something out of a bad b-rated horror flick. Has all of society lost it's personal self respect and awareness of common decency in public? Makes me wonder if anyone can still blush in America.

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F'n JD · 730 weeks ago

These kind of degenerates need a lifetime ban from Metro. Any violations would be a 6 month stint in jail for trespassing.

Come on Sarles...you said you'd improve our experience. Start by banning individuals from the system.

3 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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Corresponding Toads · 730 weeks ago

Lifetime ban? You are wild!

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WTF · 730 weeks ago

And who exactly is going to enforce this ban? Are you going to volunteer to stand at the entrance to a Metro station and check every single face against a ban list and do it without any accusations of racial profiling?

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abc · 730 weeks ago

A little untasteful, but really quite harmless. If you are going to give outlife time bans try the little black teenage gangsters of L"Enfant plaza who are actually assaulting people and the metro molester (who thanks to Allie and detective Lang was caught and arrested).

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Guest · 730 weeks ago

I don't think Metro can ban these people, nor do I think fellow riders could shame a person like this into acting better.

This sort of thing is much more deeply rooted in how the person was raised. Sadly, we're a country without shame any more.

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anony · 730 weeks ago

Let me guess. At L'Enfant Plaza? That place is hell.

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windowlickinggood · 730 weeks ago

Oh FFS... it's a friggen armpit. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS! Here I was expecting some personal body fluid discharge getting on you or your family, but no, you're bitching because you saw something unsightly.

We all see unsightly and ugly things on a daily basis, but some of us don't make a blog issue about them. Get over it.

12 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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Guest · 730 weeks ago

Some people lack shame; some lack a sense of humor.

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Ever and Anon · 730 weeks ago

And many lack compassion.

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windowlickinggood · 730 weeks ago

Oh I have a sense of humour, perhaps it's harder to trigger mine than an asinine entry regarding a woman putting on deodorant. I ususally go to Regretsy for a laugh, not so much Unsuckdcmetro.

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unsuckdcmetro 92p · 730 weeks ago

Aww. You poor thing.

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windowlickinggood · 730 weeks ago

Wow Unsuck, that comment was useless...

If this is a joke, perhaps I'm having a dense-moment and not getting the punchline, and you (or anyone else) would like to be a bit more constructive and explain it to me, instead of hopping on the villification wagon.

As it stands, I'm assuming this was a true story from Todd about seeing some woman take off her shirt and apply deodorant. If I were to repeat this story to most anyone I know, as another poster put it, I'd hear crickets and maybe get and "ok... and?" in response.

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windowlickinggood · 730 weeks ago

I'm not sure which is worse though, the fact you guys are treating me like an asshole for telling you to "toughen up" a bit and drop the high-school antics, or the fact that Todd wanted to take a pic, so he could e-pillorize her for your entertainment.

Are your problems really that insignificant that, someone "freshening up" (and I'll admit doing it on the metro is a bit uncouth, but I'd rather see someone taking care of a potential BO issue rather than stand next to someone who doesn't believe in bathing) is a huge deal worth blogging about?

As far as rude behaviour (expelling bodily fluids, taking up more than one seat, crime) getting reported on here goes, this incident seems a bit like a stretch for public mocking.

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Someone · 730 weeks ago

Careful of UnSuck's wickedly dry humor lest you get burned by it too!!

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Anony · 730 weeks ago

Ah got it. Not a reader.

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Zeus · 730 weeks ago

I know you: http://unsuckdcmetro.blogspot.com/2011/01/narciss...

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hug · 730 weeks ago

"Oh I have a sense of humour"

One of the most common things said by people who, in fact, completely lack senses of humor.

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windowlickinggood · 730 weeks ago

It's far more common to attribute baseless "blanket commentary" to faceless posters online.

Nobody in here has explained what the joke is... nor do I see any LOLs or any other postings regarding this entry as humour. If anything most responses relate to "personal grooming is verboten on the metro", and based on others responses I can assure I'm not the only one who feels like I do, or lacks a sense of humour.

So please take your fortune-cookie wisdom, and peddle it elsewhere. I do not for instant buy that statement of yours.

No one on here knows anything about me personally, and I can say the same about you all. For you to base my "sense of humour" off of a few postings, only demonstrates that.

Perhaps you'd like to explain why EMD has a negative rating. Their post makes sense, is well worded, lacks major spelling and grammar errors, and yet has a negative score... oh let me guess... they lack a sense of humour?

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Anon · 730 weeks ago

Very well stated! During all the years I've spent commuting via Metro, I've experienced:
Scary whack-o tried to get in my face/touch me while waiting on a train.
Panhandler spit in my direction outside Farragut West when all I did was walk past him.
Guy peed himself on a blue line train during the middle of rush hour in front of everyone.
Countless incidents of weekend drunk pukers.
People coughing up stuff/blowing snot rockets.
Toddlers projectile vomiting on the train.

So excuse me for saying "boo freaking hoo" to this dude's horrifying armpit sighting!

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Matt · 730 weeks ago

Kurtz was from Apocalypse Now...

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Anon · 730 weeks ago

Actually, he was from Heart of Darkness. Apocalypse Now draws heavily from that novel.

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OLR · 730 weeks ago

I'm kind if surprised that Todd was more alarmed by seeing her armpit than he was by seeing her take her blouse off. Unless of couse she doesn't shave regularly... *shudder*

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@Hell_on_wheelz · 730 weeks ago

I occassionally use the Beltway to commute and the things I see goin' on in rush hour traffic in the cars next to me can be much more alarming than an exposed arm pit. A car isn't all that private from its neighbors whilst inching along at 2 mph.

I'm not at all surprised that similar things are occurring on other forms of commuter transit.

Just sayin'

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Anon2 · 730 weeks ago

Down right nasty! Grooming should be taught in school because some do not get it! Maybe this was one of the famous "bag ladies". Wait to you see the guy with the 3 foot long flat matted dreds, beard and is a tall caucasian guy. I was told one of the homeless guys had been drinking and fell in front of a train. i don't see him anymore.

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One take · 730 weeks ago

Some people have no self awareness, or shame, or consideration for others.

It’s astounding the things you see; applying deodorant to exposed armpits (sorry you had to see that), the nail clippers, tooth brushers, rinsers and spitters, teasing one’s wet hair over the seat back onto your work slacks, the drunks, the preachers, the muffing tops and exposed provocative undergarments pulled up so all the metro’ing world can see Victoria’s ‘not such a Secret’.

All of these instances and so many more not even mentioned make my dancing feet very sad.

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eatk0okies 80p · 730 weeks ago

After I read that, I heard crickets.

Here I was thinking they had to stand next to someone who had nasty BO during rush hour.

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One take · 730 weeks ago

But in all due seriousness; if METRO is serious about bans, let’s start with the violent dirty sewer teens. I’d much rather share a train with some woman’s armpit, whose only crime is pretty much being American; then some Sec.8 hip-hopper looking for a slightly used Ipod to give as a present to his gramama.

3 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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WTF · 730 weeks ago

Racial profiling.

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One take · 730 weeks ago

Please clarify….

Cheers.

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thedofc · 730 weeks ago

More like agism

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· 730 weeks ago

I've seen worse on the Metro, but that notion that someone thinks it's OK to do this kind of crap in a public place is just wrong. I mean seriously, go to a public restroom, change your top and apply deodorant.

While some say this is a trivial matter, there's a large body of evidence that shows behavior like this is a slippery slope.

No wonder public transport in this country has a bad rep. Remember that GM ad from the 90s?

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hrh king friday 13 · 730 weeks ago

I'm not easily grossed out either, but I'd be bothered if I saw this woman too. You're supposed to take care of personal hygiene BEFORE you get on public train with a bunch of people. I think a lot of us have been desensitized by all the other bolidy fluid, B.O., dry humping, etc experiences we see (or smell) on Metro. This is still gross.

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EMD · 730 weeks ago

Unless the woman didn't shave, I honestly don't see the problem. The story didn't state whether or not she had, but from the tone, I infer she hadn't. Which, I agree, in our culture, that's a huge eww factor, personal preferances to shaving or not.

I'd love to hear this woman's side of the story. If this was a one time deal, I don't see what the blow-up over this is. She might have been between appts and needed to freshen up. However, if she's a "regular" and doing this every day, there's a serious issue that needs to be dealt with there - as in why can't she change in a bathroom before or after getting on a train?

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www.AccessTheDMV.com · 730 weeks ago

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_He1O6mCll84/SfKj3sdqVDI...

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sick and tired · 730 weeks ago

I once saw a woman with a tweezer and small mirror, plucking hairs from her face. It was truly disgusting. No one dared to say something but maybe I should've. She looked like she was on her way to work and not homeless or mentally ill. Still, that's pretty messed up.

2 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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VeggieTart · 730 weeks ago

Given how jerky Metro trains are, I would not do anything that required a great deal of delicacy on the train. I would have been more upset by someone stripping off her top than applying deodorant, but that is still less annoying than children who think Metro is a playground.