Unsuck DC Metro: To Sit or Not to Sit?

Soylent Green Line · 694 weeks ago

Fatties don't get a free pass. I suspect the person next to you gave up his seat because the obese individual in question was a woman, not a fatty.

I understand your consternation with these conundrums and would like to hear more from our fellow riders.

As a general rule, I will yield my seat on a case-by-case basis. I suspect this is why you are having trouble deciding, precisely because there are no hard and fast rules for acquiescence.

Does the person look like they really *need* a seat? Are you getting off in two stops or six? Is the person a wild-eyed tourist that looks slightly ill?

You've got to handle these cases as they come, but as a general rule I think I can always get a gut feeling of whether or not to yield my plastic throne, and (most of the time) I go with it.

+18 Vote up Vote down

BradK · 694 weeks ago

I often have the same thoughts... should I give up my seat, or not?

The one that always gets me is this:

Lets say I am getting off in 2 stops... I am in a window seat... LOTS of people get in the train...

I usually get up and let someone sit window before deciding to sit back down in the aisle, or just stand... (doesnt matter if it is a super-athlete or not, I don't want to be a pain in the butt).
Whenever I do this, I don't get the surprised, "oh my", or "thank you", I get the "WTF" as if the person is insulted that I dont want to sit next to them....

Anyone else?

On a side note, just because I can mention it, Usually if someone asks to sit, I get the hell out of the way... the reason why is because I am a little handicapped, I have a pinched nerve in my foot that hurts something awful most days if I stand for a long period of time on the metro... and you would never know it to look at me... I dont limp, I am late 20's and I only barely look like I should switch to light beer. You never know what ailments someone has, so I usually give people the benefit of the doubt if they ask to sit down.

8 replies · active 694 weeks ago

-10 Vote up Vote down

Kara · 694 weeks ago

I would not give up a seat to someone who is obese. It does get a bit tricky as it might be a health issue they have no control over, but odds are I would be giving my seat to someone who will not exercise. If they fit in one seat, fine, same as anyone else, but if they take up both seats .... well, airplanes charge you extra if you take up more room than you paid for.

If you have a suitcase it goes in the aisle and out of the way, period. No taking up another seat, no blocking someone from getting to the inner seat. Of course a bit of flexibility if the train is not full of course, but no suitcases at rush hour. If you absolutely HAVE to travel with something big and the train is full either use your lap or put it on the floor.

4 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Matt G · 694 weeks ago

The only time I give up my seat is if they are old and have a cane/walker, or are an elderly couple so that they can sit down together.

I remember asking an elderly gentleman who looked as if he was in his late 70s if he would like my seat...he refused. I insisted, but he refused again.

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

Sizzle · 694 weeks ago

With the issue of suitcases, I generally find it rude when some airport-destined Metro n00b takes up 2+ seats during rush hour with their bags. If you're physically able and you've got a giant suitcase that will take up a seat, I think it's most appropriate to find a corner to stand in. Obviously that rule doesn't apply if you're physically unable to do so.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

-6 Vote up Vote down

Anon5 · 694 weeks ago

My views:

Fat people - No. Unless they're fat and have walking sticks or something. Take care of your health. I'm not giving up my seat just because you brought your weight issues on yourself.

Suitcase wielder - No. If that were the case, I'd drag around an empty suitcase with me everyday to work so I can get a seat.

Moderately sized children - Maybe. If the child seem tired or it looks like the parent needs to sit and rest. I have a kid myself and know how tiring it is to have them hanging all around you.

Pregnant/Chubby - Only if it's obviously pregnant. If it's ambiguous, no. They could just be fat (see fat people comment above).

Ambiguously elderly - No. I used to give up my seats to them until one day I stood up and offered my seat to what I thought was an elderly woman and she goes, "DUDE! I'm not old you jackass!" Ever since then, I say screw 'em.

Just do what I do. I get a seat, then concentrate hard on my book/work or pretend I'm sleeping with my eyes closed. Then even you don't have to worry about giving up your seat or not. Just sleep and when your stop is called, open your eyes and get out.

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

· 694 weeks ago

love the photo

Rebecca · 694 weeks ago

This is tough! I don't have any good answers, but for what it's worth, I'm sure many other riders struggle with the same questions - I know I do. I'm not sure any of the groups of people you listed above should automatically be given seats - at least, in practice, I rarely give up my seat for any of them. Sometimes it's obvious when someone wants/needs to sit down - in those cases, I or someone else usually offers them a seat, regardless of whether they fit into any of the groups mentioned above. And fellow riders, if you need to sit, just ask! I think most riders would be more than happy to give up their seats to someone who isn't feeling well or is tired, provided the request is made politely.

+18 Vote up Vote down

@chrisunwired · 694 weeks ago

When in doubt - be a human and be kind.

That being said, I go WAY out of my way to avoid Gallery Place and I get on the Yellow at Mt Vernon JUST so I can have a seat since I go to the end of the Yellow line. If you REALLY need a seat you can do the same and go out of your way to accommodate yourself.

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

dy77 · 694 weeks ago

I vote no on most of these although I do offer to the ambiguously elderly who are not going to work and the pregnant. When I was pregnant, I actually felt better standing (my back hurt sitting) but it was nice to get the offer.

+6 Vote up Vote down

Jennifer · 694 weeks ago

My 5- and 9-year old sons like standing up and hanging onto the pole. Don't feel obliged. With pregnancy, the tough times for me were first trimester, when I was not yet showing but had morning sickness (you're off the hook, since you can't tell...but don't blame me if I puke on you) and the third trimester, when I am happy to report that most people jumped up and offered me a seat upon glimpsing the size of my ankles and the look on my face.

+28 Vote up Vote down

Ann Nonymous · 694 weeks ago

I usually give up my seat because I'm capable of standing. We don't know why the person is obese and it's not our business to ask. If you're going to give up your seat, just do it and don't go through this big moral dilemma about weight issues, whether the person is going to exercise, if they're visibly handicapped, pregnant, etc.

People are putting way too much thought into an inanimate object. It's a seat. We're not making a major life decision here. If you want to give up your seat that's fine, if you don't that's also fine. If you do, just do it because you want to and do it because you think it's the right thing to do.

5 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+15 Vote up Vote down

Certifried · 694 weeks ago

I'm one of those "you can't tell" disabled people, I'm in decent shape (could lose 20 pounds at most). Officially rated as 50% disabled by the VA (Army vet). I have difficulty standing for long periods of time. So it's all perspective. I hate these discussions because I usually end up feeling like people are looking at me if I don't give up my seat. So I try to sit by a window far from a door, and let the people by the door deal with it. If I absolutely have to give up my seat, you're only getting it if you're elderly, clearly pregnant, or disabled.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

Anon · 694 weeks ago

I'm fat (and working on that) and I certainly don't expect people to give up their seats for me. When people do (generally men), I think it has more to do with the fact that I'm a woman and less to do with the fact that I'm overweight.

As to the others, I always play it by ear. If someone looks like they'd really like to sit down/they need to sit down, I have no problem offering up my seat to them. Often I'm refused, but I've made the offer. I can stand from Foggy Bottom to Springfield.

As a side note, you'd be surprised how few people give up their seats for the visibly handicapped. With a broken ankle, I hobbled around Metro on crutches for weeks. I can count on one hand the number of times people voluntarily offered up their seats to me, including those seats reserved for people with disabilities. Crutches are relatively stable so it's not like I was incapable of standing. It was just uncomfortable. So thanks for everyone who pays attention and at least thinks about when to give up their seat.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

@dogunderwater · 694 weeks ago

Wait, people give up their seats on the Metro? I'm in my twenties and look pretty able-bodied, even though I'm not, and always felt awkward about asking for a seat on the Metro. When I had to start using a cane, I was hoping that maybe my fellow morning commuters would be nice to the girl trying to hole onto the pole and her cane at the same time, but no go. I still asked to sit on the worst days, but really could have done without the incredulous and huffy looks considering I was...using a cane.

4 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+34 Vote up Vote down

Kristen · 694 weeks ago

Kind of shocked at all the hate directed toward the obese. No, I don't think you're obligated to give up your seat to them but these "it's their own fault they're fat" comments are petty. If you see someone who is disabled, do you ask how they got their disability? Maybe they got in a car accident while driving drunk. No seat for them, it's their fault! If you see someone using oxygen, they were probably a heavy smoker at some point in their life and are now paying the consequences. No seat for them either, they shouldn't have smoked! Sheesh people, a little more kindness and a little less judgement.

6 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+10 Vote up Vote down

Guest · 694 weeks ago

The easiest way to solve the issue of possibly offending someone is to not make a huge show of your gallant act of chivalry. Some people clearly want their fellow passengers to notice how noble they're being. I personally don't even ask people if they want my seat. I just wait until they get near me and stand up. If it's someone who would obviously need/want it (really elderly, clearly pregnant, carrying a baby, etc), I'll make eye contact and maybe a little hand gesture. Sometimes they wave me off, and I let it go without embarrassing them on a crowded train. Downside is that occasionally some 30-year-old clown tries to rush in, but if you time it right and position yourself well you can "box out" other people.

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

blob · 694 weeks ago

Metro benches used to easily accommodate 2 average Americans. Today, they're single seaters.

+31 Vote up Vote down

governmentbasement 70p · 694 weeks ago

I would also like to add, that if any able bodied and sitting in the designated handicapped seat. Please be the first to offer your seat, even if it is for some of the aforementioned.

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+6 Vote up Vote down

Michelle · 694 weeks ago

I had surgery a couple of years ago and couldn't stand for long periods of time. You wouldn't know by looking at me as I'm pretty athletic, however, I was temporarily disabled and really needed to sit down for my commute. I got some dirty looks for not giving up my seat even after I explained I'm recovering from surgery.

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

Mollie · 694 weeks ago

With the exception of "ambiguously pregnant' (they might be offended that you're offering them a seat?) you need to get over whether you "have to" give up your seat and focus on being a courteous, compassionate human being... which is what manners are all about. If it looks like someone is going to have a rough ride of it standing through rush hour... give it up already and give your able legs a little more exercise.

+27 Vote up Vote down

DC Denizen · 694 weeks ago

I saw someone offer up their seat to a member of the military right before Veteran's Day. The military person was surprised (and I think a little embarrassed), but the seat offerer said something about thanking them for their service. That was an interesting twist on the giving up of seats.

My take? Be compassionate when you can. Ignore the looks when you can't. If someone asks, give up your seat as you are able. Commuting sucks for everyone, but it sucks a lot less when people aren't jerks. Metro gives us enough to deal with all by itself.

+55 Vote up Vote down

wontdometro · 694 weeks ago

Also - Gentlemen!!! PLEASE no legs spread as far apart as you can get them in the seat. You can sit with your legs almost touching just like anyone else. I have seen men with one knee against the seat wall and the other 3/4 of the way across the next seat. Rein em in!

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

TKO · 694 weeks ago

Here is my philosophy: there are reserved seats for those who need them. It's not for me to judge or guess who needs them. I simply will never, ever, sit in those seats, because they are meant not for me. I always sit somewhere else. If someone needs to sit down, they should sit in one of the reserved seats. Problem solved.:)

+11 Vote up Vote down

lucia · 694 weeks ago

I'm pregnant - 8 months pregnant. Since I was 5 months, there's never been any doubt that I am in fact pregnant. It is very rare that someone will give up their seat. Able-bodied men and women will sit in priority seating and even stare at my belly but they will not offer me a seat (this includes military). Perhaps you have to be 9 months to qualify for priority seating?

Some women will race me to an available seat.

While pregnant, I even stood up and gave my seat to an elderly man with a cane because he needed it more than I did. That's okay - but still, accomodations should be made for those of us with temporary or permenant issues preventing us from standing.

8 replies · active 694 weeks ago

@brewner · 694 weeks ago

the only time i sit is if the train is empty, like a weekend or mid-day. easy enough to resolve the issues posed by this post.

-13 Vote up Vote down

F'n JD · 694 weeks ago

On fat people - There's a reason the term is seat hog.

+10 Vote up Vote down

@AceGordon · 694 weeks ago

Sad we live in a world where this is a "moral dilemma." It's pretty easy - if you're thinking about whether or not to give up your seat: GIVE UP YOUR SEAT. I think being courteous as "default" will make our society a whole lot better.

Also, another quick note, based on the photo: IMHO, war veterans (especially seniors) should always be given a seat.

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+13 Vote up Vote down

Chris · 694 weeks ago

I'm a twice-daily Metro rider on the Orange Line during the peak, early 30s, male, in good shape. I never sit down during my commute, ever. Too many times it has been ambiguous, or I feel awkward, or I get up to offer a pregnant woman my seat who doesn't want it, only to have an able-bodied person take it. So I've completely removed myself from the whole experience and stand.

That being said, I do go straight for the wall-leaning space on the newer cars if I can snag it, that's my "seat" so to speak. And I usually won't give up that prime standing space unless forced to by the Orange Crush at Rosslyn...

F'n JD · 694 weeks ago

#firstworldproblem

-16 Vote up Vote down

ex smoker · 694 weeks ago

Heavy people are the new smokers. Why can't they be ostracized as I once was as a smoker? It's mostly a choice they make to eat and not exercise. After all, they're a drain on the healthcare system--probably way more so than smokers ever were.

6 replies · active 694 weeks ago

Lovethemetro · 694 weeks ago

Just stand. Then you won't need to think about it anymore. Besides the seats are disgusting!

Overit · 694 weeks ago

Just stand! Then you won't have to think about it anymore. Besides the seats are disgusting!!

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+9 Vote up Vote down

Guest · 694 weeks ago

"Whatagrandworld" on Twitter - I don't see 'hate' or 'discrimination'. Quit stirring an empty pot.

As a general rule, I look around for people who appear to be looking for a seat. Someone's eagerness should be a giveaway. But I've also witnessed twenty-somethings who are so tuned out in their headphones, cell phones or Kindles that they ignore elderly and disabled passengers altogether.

I appreciate the tall guys who are commenting that they don't mind standing because they can reach the tall poles. I stand at 5'3 and can barely reach, and barely doesn't help steady myself much.

My biggest pet peeve is when people lean their entire bodies on the stand-alone poles. They are there for multiple users. Even worse? When people steady themselves by positioning the pole in their ass crack and leaning back. How are some people that disgusting?

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

-30 Vote up Vote down

Michael · 694 weeks ago

If I do end up getting a seat I never give it up, period. I once had some kooky woman sit behind me and yapping with the woman next to her (a stranger) about how "young people these days have no respect and they don't give up seats blah blah blah"...I just tuned it out. I don't care if I look like a jackass. I just don't give up my seat unless I'm actually forced to (say, if the train is out of service). I have a 13-stop commute...does that give me an obligation to have a seat for the whole ride, or even part of the ride? No, but if I find a seat I'm sitting there.

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+11 Vote up Vote down

@VeggieTart · 694 weeks ago

I agree: If someone looks like they may need a seat more than you do, offer. If they get offended, that's their problem. I will offer seats to older people because I try to be polite. Sure they may be more spry than I am (yes, I confess, I am out of shape), but do be gracious.

However, if I'm carrying heavy groceries, I would love it if someone offers me a seat on the bus. Not all of us have cars, you know, and the bus is the best way to get my stuff home.

+12 Vote up Vote down

Guest · 694 weeks ago

These comments confirm my decision to ride Metro as little as I can these days, as I approach my 60th birthday. When did parents stop teaching their children to be polite to the elderly and the disabled?

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

+15 Vote up Vote down

One take · 694 weeks ago

I stay in shape – I run races, lift weights, cross-train, etc…. While having long since filled out; growing up skinny, I never thought twice about my weight other than I wished I wasn’t so skinny. This being the case, I can only imagine how it must feel to those people whose weight is an issue and standing for a long period of time while jerking back and forth– the discomfort to joints and such. What I am saying is that, while I rarely sit on the metro anyway, but when I do and if I see someone who looks like they would need to sit down – be it because of their weight, age, or any other condition which could be alleviated for time they spend on metro that day – then by all means, take my seat - no prob, bob. We all act like people when we step outside the beltway…why not inside too every now and then?

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

+11 Vote up Vote down

Sam · 694 weeks ago

I'd offer my seat to anyone who asked. It's a seat. It's meant to be a comfort. Yes, I'm comfortable but if someone is uncomfortable, regardless of the reason, then it's really not a big deal for me to just give them the brief comfort of sitting down. I don't own the seat.

If I'm ever in doubt, I just get up and stand. If the person wants the seat, they'll take it. No need to always be vocal about it and ask "Do you want to sit down?". Just give up the seat if you're unsure. I don't know why we make such a big deal about these things. When did "being a compassionate human being" suddenly become nonexistent?

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

-5 Vote up Vote down

Robert Earl Hughes · 694 weeks ago

The myth of the fat man: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/obesity/DS00314/...

Yes, there are medical reasons, but they are very rare.

Overeating and inactivity are choices.

Frequent red-liner · 694 weeks ago

I ride metro everyday. Even though im an probably a bit bigger than the average adult, I only take up one seat. People are perfectly comfortable sitting next to me. I usually only sit down when there are two seats available, and I'm not a seat hog. If all the seats are filled, I'll stand. The only time I sit is if I'm really tired. With that said, I've been sat on a bunch of times, by smaller people and not so
smaller people. I believe in the small-small small-big rule. Two small people can sit
together, a large and small person can sit together, but if you are bigger than me, you can't try to squeeze next to me. I have nothing against bigger people, being one myself, but it has to do with both of our comfortability. As for
giving up my seat, I give up for (obvious) pregnant women, elderly, and anyone with a small child. I also will get up for women who aren't elderly, but look to be around 40 or 50 or so, basically women around the age of my parents, I'm in my early twenties. I also gave up my seat once to an extremely tall guy who looked so uncomfortable standing up. It is a slippery slope. I want to be respectful but definitely don't want to offend.

ANON · 694 weeks ago

Disabled Rider · 694 weeks ago

I’m in my 40’s and on oxygen and no it’s not because of smoking I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been pushed, cut in front of or blocked for a seat and I’m talking about the seats for disabled people. This one women did this and smiled back at me because she got the seat before I did or when someone did offer their seat to me the guy got cussed out because I just got on and this woman had been standing and I should of told him to give it to her because she had high blood pressure and that standing was good for me I’m not expecting special treatment on Metro but the pushing and shoving is unnecessary. Its gotten to the point where I have to go out of my way to get on the train at the beginning of the line so I wont be pushed and shoved for a seat.

+1 Vote up Vote down

Terrie · 694 weeks ago

I am appalled by the young individuals using canes or such and people will not give up their seat; especially if they are in the reserved area. Wow, I did not realize people were this cruel. When I do ride the metro it is on weekends, it looks like many people are on their i-pad, i-pod, kindle or some form technology. It seems like they are not paying attention to who gets on. Maybe this is happening during weekdays rush hour commute. But I hope people can be considerate and observant of their surroundings.
I normally give up my seat without saying anything, if I see someone that is in need of a seat.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

@jcarbaugh · 694 weeks ago

This is why I always stand. No difficult seat decisions!

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

@Hell_on_wheelz · 694 weeks ago

My biggest commuting pet peeve: Most train cars have spaces specifically engineered for wheelchairs to park (which are different from the mid-car seating for the ambulatory disabled). No one will vacate these parking areas voluntarily - very few will move even when asked politely.

Metro, in their infinite wisdom,marks the OUTSIDE of the car but not the space inside (just inside the rear doors).

Behind a partition some have a seat that folds up (like the pix in this article) & others just enclose open spaces. The ones w/ the fold-up seat also generally have a securement for a manual wheelchair at the base of the wall. Most people think the open areas are for stowing luggage & long-distance wall-leaning & very few know about the flip seating.

I can’t tell you how many times in 10 years that people have refused to move out of these parking areas - in some cases sitting there with a foot propped up on the manual securement mechanism! Having a wheely parked in the middle of the train doors during rush hour is dangerous for commuters & the wheely alike - yet Metro refuses to identify these areas w/ signage (on the inside of the car).

2 replies · active 694 weeks ago

Nick · 694 weeks ago

over 100 comments by 2pm, hot damn!

my 2 cents: I always give my seat to pregnant or elderly persons. not the obese. elderly is sometimes a tough call. several times i've offered my seat to an elderly man, only to be declined. elderly women usually accept.

+9 Vote up Vote down

Mel · 694 weeks ago

It's thunderdome between the faregates.

Jamie · 694 weeks ago

Wowie, so as the OP, I'm going to try and sum up what I have learned:
1. I shouldn't have said "obviously" when I talked about pregnant, elderly and disabled riders getting priority, because apparently to some riders there's nothing obvious about it. Shame.
2. If you always stand up and give your seat to one of the Big Three then you're probably not an a--hole. If you ALSO give up your seat to one of the categories in the post, even better. But it's certainly not required.
3. People on this message board have a lot of pent-up rage towards overweight people. Chill out, guys.
4. Some people claim that they either never ever sit, or will jump to their feet at the drop of a hat. Clearly these people have never tried to solve a crossword puzzle standing up! It's a nice sentiment, but perhaps a bit unrealistic for those of us with longer commutes.
5. At the end of the day, deciding at what point "I got here first" is no longer a good reason to stay in your seat is up to the individual. But for god's sake, if an 80-year-old blind pregnant woman on crutches gets on the train, MOVE IT!

3 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+11 Vote up Vote down

Suzan · 694 weeks ago

I thank every rider who has ever given up their seat for me. It makes my day.
-- a gray-haired member of AARP

5 replies · active 694 weeks ago

joey · 694 weeks ago

have you thought about running to work, at least one way? Or biking? If you're in that good of shape, you'd save time, money, and not have to deal with Metro.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

ANONYMOUS · 694 weeks ago

For those out there that are defending the overweight... perhaps you don't regularly get sat on by them for the reason that I am smaller than most (seriously- I'll be in a window, all the window seats used up with empty aisle seats and they bee-line to me and literally sit on my leg and squash me into the window- how is it my fault or problem their huge and I'm small? AND the leg spread on top of it!!)

Back to the point- there are seats for the disabled for a reason, and I do not sit in those designated seats- even if they are available and no others are- at that point I stand and leave those for whom they were intended. If I see someone in distress, I offer my seat, I use my conscience as my guide, not other people's expectations.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

MikeL · 694 weeks ago

Any time you give up a seat to someone who's less mobile, you're making it easier for every other passengers to board or deboard the train. So if you're athletic, you ought to be standing virtually all the time.

+12 Vote up Vote down

Anonymous · 694 weeks ago

As an obese metro rider, I thought I would offer my perspective. Personally, I never sit down unless there are two open seats. I can fit in one seat but it is a bit of a squeeze and I know I sometimes infringe upon the other person's personal space, no matter how much I try not to. I personally don't feel that it is fair for me to force that situation on someone else by sitting down next to them. If someone tries to offer me their seat but the seat next to them is occupied, I politely decline.

That said, I will sit down if there are two open seats. If someone then wants to sit down next to me, I feel like that's their choice. If they think they would be too uncomfortable sitting next to me, they can choose to find another seat or stand. Otherwise, I will do my best to not infringe on their space, but they've chosen to sit next to me.

I would give up my seat to a disabled, pregnant or elderly person, and I would give up my seat if someone asked for it. Although I am obese, I am a young person in pretty good overall health. I have a long commute and my feet do start hurting if I have to stand the whole time. However, I am more able to stand than many other people and I will give up my seat to those who need it more than I do.

ANON · 694 weeks ago

If you're a guy, you should offer your seat to a woman whether she's fat, old, pregnant, on business travel, or with children. Also: don't be a donkey- let them ON the train first, too.

5 replies · active 694 weeks ago

+7 Vote up Vote down

Not Raised by Wolves · 694 weeks ago

Wow, lots of - and let me get the hard one out of the way - assholes on this thread.

You might not know why the obese person is obese. There's a damned good chance that it's not willful overeating.

The pregnant women should be left to stand because it was their choice? Yeah, that'll work until it's you or your significant other.

Kids? Maybe the parent might be trying to keep them in one place, you know: supervise and assure their safety.

Mid sixties? Make the offer. If they're offended, well, they're likely offended by damned near everything. Chances are that they'll see you in a far better light than I see you at the moment.

Carrying a larger suitcase/lots-of-stuff? It's a hell of a lot easier to keep that suitcase from hitting others, if you can sit and put it on your lap or under your seat/feet. Forty pounds of someone else's crap in a hard case can do some serious damage to a knee. Safety first, eh?

Also, maybe try some simple curtesy and kindness.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down

Guest · 694 weeks ago

It appears a lot of able-bodied riders will get up if asked, but otherwise will deploy the "pretend you can't see them" technique (well known to those who walk by the same panhandlers every day) to people who could use the seat. I suppose that's smart. Based on the responses here, it seems only about 10-20% of people will proactively get up for someone who could use the seat more, whereas the rest will avoid eye contact and hope the person's either to shy to ask or chooses to ask someone else.
Guess there's not a lot of former Boy Scouts in this forum.

Sue · 694 weeks ago

On Metrobus, nearly everyone standing gets offered a seat (although I have never seen an "ambiguously elderly" man accept one). People are less polite on the train.

@JoshTPhamilton · 694 weeks ago

Ok. I'm 17 years old. I snapped 7 tendons in my foot a few years ago. Over time I gained weight because I cannot excersise like I used to. Is being obese a choice? No because not excercising and overeating are not all the reasons for being overweight. When I see those that could really use the seat I just give it up and deal with the pain.

1 reply · active 694 weeks ago

Kristin · 694 weeks ago

I once got yelled at by an ambiguously elderly woman because I did not get up and give her my seat Mind you, the train was packed so any other person could give up their seat for her, but because I appeared to be the youngest in that vicinity, she picked me to bark at. Not only was it very embarrassing to be yelled at in front of everyone, but it was almost impossible to get up for her because the train was filled to the brim by this point and of course no one got out of my way.

I still am unsure if I would automatically get up for the ambiguous elderly, or the others you listed so thank goodness I don't ride the Metro as much anymore!

+1 Vote up Vote down

Chet · 694 weeks ago

Jaime, I will see you next Tuesday!

Anna · 694 weeks ago

Wouldn't it be nice if we extended kindness to others? You should give up your seat if you are able bodied. Standing for a few minutes after sitting at work all day is a sacrifice most of us can manage!

It's always better to treat people with dignity and respect, and even if you don't receive the same in return.

axe · 694 weeks ago

I once was asked by a young able bodied lady sitting in a seat behind me to get out of my seat so another 50ish year old woman who was standing could sit down. So i got up and offered my seat to the 50 year old lady (who was perfectly fine) and she hesitated at first but then took it. I then turned to the younger woman and said "im glad you offered your seat first, what a lady you are." All hell broke lose and i was deemed the bad guy?

If you feel like someone should have a seat then offer YOUR seat first before asking others to get up so you can feel all self righteous

axe · 694 weeks ago

I once was asked by a young able bodied lady sitting in a seat behind me to get out of my seat so another 50ish year old woman who was standing could sit down. So i got up and offered my seat to the 50 year old lady (who was perfectly fine) and she hesitated at first but then took it. I then turned to the younger woman and said "im glad you offered your seat first, what a lady you are." All hell broke lose and i was deemed the bad guy?
If you feel that someone standing should receive a seat, offer YOUR seat and dont make others get up so you can feel all self righteous

anon · 693 weeks ago

I'm a small woman in my 40's and stick to this philosophy: 1) make yourself as small as possible on the train and don't take up too much space. 2) if you sit in a disabled seat stay alert for those who need the seat more than you. 3) if you do happen to be lucky enough to grab a seat, contain yourself in your alloted half and keep you bags in your lap.