Thursday, January 26, 2012

The New Language of Metro


From CS:
They say language is always evolving, so herewith some suggestions for new lexicon inspired by the continuing dysfunction known as Metro.

MF factor (noun) – Abbreviation for “Metro F*ck-up factor”; denotes change in person’s behavior, or defensive measure taken, in response to continuing erosion of service on Metro.

Suggested usage:

“Man, if I want to get to work on time, I need to leave an MF factor of 25 minutes.”

“If I meet you at Metro Center, how much of an MF factor do you think we need?”

Stessel (noun, verb) – Referring to attempts at spin, manipulation, or deception, by such means as setting up straw men, outright lying, or misleading by omission.

Suggested usage:

“When Metro said it would run later rush-hour service the day the government opened late, that turned out to be just stesseling.”

“Hey, Metro, how much you going to stessel us this time?!”

Jeter (noun, verb) – A colossally screwed up situation; syn. FUBAR. Or, to screw something up royally.

Suggested usage: “It was a complete jeter Monday when they were single-tracking during rush hour.”

“I really got jetered today – off-loaded three times during one commute.”

Door (verb) – Train taken out of service the millionth time for, wait for it – door problems.

Suggested usage: “Sorry I’m late – got doored at Rosslyn.

So let’s hear from you – what other usages can you come up with? What other Metro-morphs of the language are out there?
Other items:
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