Thursday, August 25, 2011

'Twas a Morning on Metro


via @floridagirlindc twitpic.com/60iaev

Proof that Metro can be inspiring.

Wanna drop some Metro verse? Use the comments.

Via @daveg34 (goodrhymes.tumblr.com):
'Twas a morning on Metro and our hero was nervous
He had come to expect Metro’s lackluster service.
A quick trip he desired from his home to his desk
Without facing a journey some might call Kafkaesque.
Our hero was injured, and he walked with a crutch.
And so soon found himself in the Metro’s cold clutch.
Out of service signs hung on the elevator with glue
Because only a permanent posting would do.
So he sat by the station, for a shuttle he waited
And he soon grew offended and exasperated.
Ignored by the staff, he felt helpless and trapped
By Metro’s indifference toward the handicapped.
The shuttle picked him up, but he was perplexed
At the long time it took to the stop that was next.
When he got to the station, his frustration erupted
For the service, it seemed, was so badly disrupted.
The trains weren’t coming, the platform was packing
As scant whispers warned of the feared single-tracking.
The passengers boiled in the summer’s full throes
With thirst in their throats, and sweat through their clothes.
They came through the station, like lambs to the slaughter
As Metro informed them they couldn’t drink water.
“No drinking!” was shouted, not a moment of lenience
Or respect for their customers, or a hint of convenience.
“Well, why?” they were asking. “We do not deserve this,
A system that’s broken, with horrible service!”
There was nowhere to go, they were rats stuck in cages,
“This is sick!” someone shouted, yelled another: “Outrageous!”
As the train soon approached, they all strained while standin’
And aggressively pushed toward the tracks with abandon
The train car was hot, the AC wouldn’t blast out
An elderly woman was the first one who passed out
As young, healthy folks, sat down in preferred seating
Our hero reached for his phone and started tweeting
He labeled the Metro a “broken down vessel”
And wrote to WMATA’s PR man, Dan Stessel
He then drank his water, he then got a ticket
He then told the officer where he could stick it.
Then delayed, he arrived, at his final destination
And climbed out at Dupont, a hot, crowded station
He soon grew confused, and then angry, then fed up
The escalators were out, there was no way to get up.
He was stuck on the platform with no way to the street
In the grasp of the crowd and the tension and heat.
“We must fix this!” he shouted, “Let’s get Metro unsucked!”
And he sat, hot and helpless, and totally f……

Comments (17)

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Soylent Green Line's avatar

Soylent Green Line · 708 weeks ago

+1,000,000,000

Well played, sir.
1 reply · active 708 weeks ago
Soylent Green Line's avatar

Soylent Green Line · 708 weeks ago

...or Ma'am.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
The Orange Line's on fire
and the Green Line, too.
1 reply · active 708 weeks ago
Depends.....on which end you're on.
I was wondering who had the time to write this, but then I realized the OP must have had plenty of time while stuck in the tunnels. Bravo- very funny!
(To the tune of Little Drummer Boy)

Arrive to no parking, pa rum pum pum pum
Have no bright vest with me, pa rum pum pum pum
Smartrip card will not scan, pa rum pum pum pum
Kiosk has a sleeping man, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

15 minutes to the next train, pa rum pum pum pum,
This is lame.

Metro service is lacking, pa rum pum pum pum
Must be the single tracking, pa rum pum pum pum
Teenagers picking a fight, pa rum pum pum pum
No police officers in sight, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Destination still far away, pa rum pum pum pum,
Peak-of-peak, I pay.

Metro causes me so much stress, pa rum pum pum pum
Why do I put up with this mess, pa rum pum pum pum
Metro's not up to par, pa rum pum pum pum
Thank God I still have my car, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Tired so I give up, pa rum pum pum pum
To the rest best of luck.
Green Line was a MASSIVE clusterfuck this morning.

While I was waiting 30+ min. at Fort Totten for a Branch Ave. train, the man next to me started having a mini meltdown and started wondering out loud

"What the hell is going on!? Is the train real or fake, people? How could this happen?"

Someone hasn't been riding the Metro very long...
Soylent Green Line's avatar

Soylent Green Line · 708 weeks ago

Happily, Metro's website showed no delays in the Metrorail system this morning!

Great job, Metro!
Mariterri's avatar

Mariterri · 708 weeks ago

I have taken metro for the last 20 years. But, since I had surgery this summer, I have been driving in. 1) I don't look like I need to sit, but really I do with the sutures and all so I just didn't want to deal with the hassle, and 2) I didn't want to deal with the jostling crowds because trains are running late & it is rush hour, AND 3) no AC just made it unbearable. So I drive, fork out $10 for parking a day (in before 10 am) and a commute time that has been cut in half. It has been awesome! I know the traffic will become worse after Labor Day so hopefully I will have recuperated enough by then. But honestly, even a long commute in a cool car with the radio is worth it at this point. I know it isn't good for the environment and I have to buy more gas, but the scales just shift towards driving, because I no longer arrive at work or get home hot, sweaty, stressed out and hurting.
3 replies · active 708 weeks ago
If you are concerned with environmental and financial aspects, consider finding a few coworkers or neighbors that can carpool with you. They can split the gas costs, it might get 2 more cars off the road, and you can use the HOV. I'm all for people driving for a commute, but we need to stop the one-person-per-car mentality. Just my $0.02.

Get well soon!
That's a fair enough point, but the burden needs to be put on Metro to provide better service for the prices they charge, otherwise more people will stop using it.

If you live outside the Metro zone and have to drive to a place like Greenbelt to get to work during what will be peak of the peak charges, you'll be shelling out around $15 each day between fares and parking. Now considering how bad and unreliable Metro's service is, why not just keep driving?
Mariterri's avatar

Mariterri · 708 weeks ago

I would love to carpool, but unfortunately I work at a law firm and so my hours can range from 8 - 16 on any given day without warning. My firm will pay for cab fare home, but I have to work until a certain hour to get it. Metro usually works for me because my bus runs until 9:45 pm and it is a nice way to get my reading in, but the service has deteriorated these last couple of years (not the bus service, though - it is always great). I will restart metro after labor day. It will be getting cooler then!
Love it or hate it, Metro is still much better than many of the subway systems around the world. Take a trip to Athens, Greece and ride their subway. Then come back here and let us know which one you'd like to use daily.
Anony Mouse's avatar

Anony Mouse · 708 weeks ago

Thank you for making me smile with your verse,
Relating how we all feel Metro's a curse.
I appreciate you taking time to relate,
For all Unsuck fans have felt the same fate!
Alas, one last thing...it may be unsavory:
Apparently, you all believe in slavery.
There once was a passenger from Nantucket...
The problem with all the people in this pic? They're all heading in the wrong direction.

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