Unsuck DC Metro: Rider Hall of Shame: Seatard

Friday, April 22, 2011

Rider Hall of Shame: Seatard

Photo from Eric

See other Hall of Shamers here.

Other items:

Kill someone with your bus, get fired, get rehired, get back pay, and THEN get charged with negligent homicide years later (Examiner)

Comments (66)

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+1 Vote up Vote down

Ever and Anon · 726 weeks ago

I do not know whether to pity that man or roll my eyes. Meanwhile, guess all that back pay will be do well for the Metro employee's homicide trial. Once again Metro and the union looks like idiots... lost/settle a massive lawsuit while re-hiring the one who cost them the money (not to mention a life) in the first place.

8 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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stupidraidersfan 80p · 726 weeks ago

Where does the money for the lawsuit settlement come from? They sued metro for 100 mil and then settled out of court. Is that money part of WMATA's operating budget? Or do they have a slosh fund for the annual lawsuits?

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Matt G · 726 weeks ago

They have a separate fund for lawsuits, as do most agencies in our country that are frequently sued, whether the claims are legitimate or not.

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Anone · 726 weeks ago

That money comes from you.

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abc · 726 weeks ago

I have to say homicide sounds like a ridiculous charge in this case. Reckless driving or something of that nature would make more sense. Red lights get blown through all the time in dc and I have to say most mini van taxi drivers I see drive far worse than the bus drivers-not that the bus drivers drive all that great-but in their defense it is the people higher up at metro who write impossible schedules and then never bother to revise ridiculous schedules and then force drivers to somehow make them that cause a lot of this. Most of the drivers who stay on schedule I see routinely blow through red lights.

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Soylent Green Line · 726 weeks ago

Let's assume a minivan weighs about 4000 pounds (roughly 1800 kilograms), and is travelling at about 35mph (about 15.6 m/s).

Now let's assume a bus weighs about 25,000 pounds (roughly 11,500 kg) and is moving at the same speed.

Using the formula for momentum (P=MV): and standard units (it’s science):

The minivan travelling at 35 mph (15.6 m/s) has a momentum of approximately 28080 kg*m/s.

The bus travelling at 35 mph (15.6 m/s) has a momentum of approximately 187200 kg*m/s.

So, 28080 kg*m/s compared to 187/200 kg*m/s. The bus, travelling at the same speed, has more energy behind it than 6 taxi minivans careening through a red light simultaneously.

Now, which do you think is more dangerous? Which carries more passengers?

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

What is this, maths?? Nice work.

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John · 726 weeks ago

You mopped the floor with that metro defending douche!

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abc · 726 weeks ago

I'm hardly defending metro, I'm simply saying the charges are too much. Let's say your driving, make an error and hit and kill a pedestrian. Very tragic however, do you think you should spend the next 5 years in jail? Do you drive at all? I suppose as someone who drives and sees how difficult road conditions are in this area I find it a little disturbing to send someone to jail for an accident. And not to mention the family of the person killed is completely out for money and revenge. 100 million dollars-really? Yet they don't seem to care about doing anything to promote actual changes such as requiring metro to reexamine bus schedules. People want the bus drivers to get the bus there on time, but also for them to drive safely. Unless many of the schedules are rewritten this can't happen. So this part is metros fault, but not that of the actual drivers.

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Anonymous · 726 weeks ago

Yes, it's annoying when a person takes up both seats, but I think the title/caption of this picture is rude/inappropriate. What if this person does have a disability? It's okay now to make fun of one's disabilities just because they are taking up an extra seat?

17 replies · active 726 weeks ago

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KGB · 726 weeks ago

Oh Come on. Lighten up! For crying out loud!

calling the PC policE

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abc · 726 weeks ago

Maybe he believes in slavery. He believes the seat exists to carry his bag for him and to carry him when he falls asleep-it's his slave. Wonder if the seat woke him up when he got to his stop-if not crack the whip.

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BK1 · 726 weeks ago

Thank you unsuck for being one of the last few places that I don't have to be Politically Correct all the time... i dont really care if this ONE individual does have a disability... If he does... i guess our bad... but for this ONE that may have a disability, there are hundreds of Seatards whose only disability is seatard.

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unsuckdcmetro 92p · 726 weeks ago

Surely you mean seatardation.;)

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Guest · 726 weeks ago

I hope you don't lose advertisters over this like Wonkette (rightfully) did.

+13 Vote up Vote down

unsuckdcmetro 92p · 726 weeks ago

What's an advertister? If you mean advertiser, take another look at the site. There are none.

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tom.thanks · 726 weeks ago

Why not? I wouldn't mind.

It's confusing to receive a satisfying experience from a free service, especially being a WMATA rider.

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abc · 726 weeks ago

When you complain to those advertisTers that we don't have,won't you share with them our belief in slavery too! Apparently you believe in slavery too...you just don't know it yet!

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

Unsuck keeps this site running for the people. You think he gets paid to complain over the internet?? Think again, Guesto.

Also, Tard is the name of a village in Hungary. Seatard just happens to rhyme with retard, just like maggot rhymes with F-

Sucks when people only want to comment when they point out an issue of sensitivity. This is the internet. Prepare to be anywhere between mildly and extremely offended.

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im m · 726 weeks ago

Learn to English.

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Anonymous · 726 weeks ago

I can't stand people like you.

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dan · 726 weeks ago

Get. Over. Yourself.

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abc · 726 weeks ago

Like who? I'm confused to who you are referencing?

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KWM · 726 weeks ago

People with disabilities can learn manners. A friend of mine has a child with Down's Syndrome, and he'd never behave like this.

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@kara_h · 726 weeks ago

While I am all for disabled access, please describe one that would result in what we see in the picture.

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Sam · 726 weeks ago

Narcolepsy?

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Ever anon · 726 weeks ago

I for one have never see a physical disability that required someone to kneel in front of a seat.

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· 726 weeks ago

LOVE the term. Metro is populated with many, many seatards. Better than seat hog.

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

Oh boy, the Toads has been in this situation plenty of times. "Seatard" (HOW RUDE, UNSUCK??) is seated like this because it's the only way he wouldn't puke. He was doing the other riders a favor!!

P.S. It can't be that crowded, considering the empty window seat in the row in front of him.

2 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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dan · 726 weeks ago

Toads, I'd always imagined you squatting on all fours on the seats, giving other passengers the evil eye with a small amount of dribble bubbling out of the sides of your mouth.

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

The dribble is less bubbling and more fizzling. Very acidic stuff. Which is why the roudy kids on Metro never mess with Toads. They fear the Toads.

I was born with the evil eye so don't count it against me.

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Matt G · 726 weeks ago

Maybe some L'Enfant teenager gangs beat him up and left him in this position, where he's actually unconscious, and did not voluntarily rest this way.

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guest · 726 weeks ago

I believe the acceptable term is seating challenged. Cmon Unsuck! ;)

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Guest · 726 weeks ago

Maybe he's a muslim and he's doing one of his required daily prayers.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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guest · 726 weeks ago

That's intolerant.

Just kidding.

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Top Job · 726 weeks ago

ROTGLMFAO. Thanks, I needed that this morning. I still have tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard. I had a terrible argument with my wife last night and was really depressed this moring. I need a laugh like this.

3 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

I have terrible arguments with my wife all the time. But the key to winning these arguments is simple: picture your wife as Justin Bieber. That way, you're only fighting with an obnoxious Justin Bieber.

This is standard Toads' Code
brought to you by Corresponding Toads

P.S. Don't follow the Toads' Code.

+2 Vote up Vote down

Top Job · 726 weeks ago

I think I am actually going to try that. Right now, all I can see is the child from the Exorcist.

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Ever · 726 weeks ago

Let us know when the divorce finalizes, Toads. ;-D

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Top Job · 726 weeks ago

"Hi, Sir, I just wanted to let you know that your ass goes in the seat, not your face".
" uh, duh, unga, angg, bubba, duh, danga"
"Oh, leave him alone, he doesn't know any better. He's seatarded".
"I see. I am sorry. There are schools for the seatarded. He can be trained to use a seat, but he may never be able to use it like a normal person".
"Maybe, but he's profoundly seatarded so we can only expect so much. The other day at the swimming pool, he laid down on the concrete and put the lounge chair on top of himself. Then, when we went to the movies he sat backwards and wasn't facing the screen and wasn't able to understand why he missed the movie. Such is the nature of seatardation".
"That's so sad. There are making strides though. I know a seatarded guy who can drive by using a system of mirrors like a parascope".
"Toileting is the biggest probably that I've encournted with my seatarded brother".

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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dan · 726 weeks ago

Well played, sir.

+1

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horseydeucey · 726 weeks ago

Window-licking is so 2007.
Seat-licking is the new shit, my people!

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Guest · 726 weeks ago

Maybe he has Downs Syndrome, meaning he doesn't know how to properly sit Down.

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Top Job · 726 weeks ago

Isn't the Seatarded Olympics this summer? I love the musical chairs event. They have to wear protective helments though because last year they had a lot of concussions from seatards trying to quickly sit at the same time.

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dan · 726 weeks ago

It's funny that the (anonymous) commenter that complained that (as I imagine him/her speaking) "We shouldn't, like, make fun of people (read: idiots like the seatard), because it's intolerant, man," created the Seatard Meme.

Nice job, Anonymous, you weak-kneed PC toady.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Soylent Green Line · 726 weeks ago

In fairness, Unsuck created it. Anonymous just gave it life.

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Wouldratherdrive · 726 weeks ago

Unless they are stinky - I enjoy asking the seat hogs and the like to move over if there are no more seats on metro. I will even help them move their stuff so I can sit down. The legspreaders/rubbers also just love it when you cram your book, magazine or bag into the area on the seat between you. I have even asked men to "reign in their legs so I have some room to sit down". My favorite are the fart ninjas... all of the sudden it hits you and you have no idea where it's coming from but it smells awful. I called one guy out on it and he tried to tell me he wasn't farting when he was the only one in that area and me and another person were sitting "upwind" from him. Oh yeah like that smell came from nowhere... I hate riding metro.

2 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

They don't call DC the Fart City for nothing. This is where fart ninjas go to retire. Well they're supposed to retire, but they never actually stop farting.

That being said, if a woman ever asked me if I farted, I would probably reply with a fart. Then she would KNOW I wasn't the original farter, because my farts rank up there with rotten egg sandwiches and spoiled watermelon.

+1 Vote up Vote down

Wouldratherdrive · 726 weeks ago

Haha! Thankfully you are immune to your own farts or you would asphyxiate yourself. I looked at the guy with death butt and calmly asked him if he would please stop farting. He denied it but got off the train at the next stop and it was much more pleasant breathing afterwards. Sometimes you have to confront people to get them to realize that what they are doing is not acceptable. That being said, farting as a defense mechanism is hilarious but is is really fair to punish all those people for one douchebag haha? I think a good step backwards with elbows and briefcase/backpack would have worked just as well.

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MiddleEarth · 726 weeks ago

Has anyone seen the Gollum woman on the Red line? She is classic Rider Hall of Shame material. This woman carries one crutch and a severe case of what I'm assuming is drug addiction. She got on the red line last wednesday at about 4pm heading towards Shady Grove. She begged for some money, then started speaking gibberish and proceeded to sit down... She then begins to violently attempt to snot rocket into the seat next to her (vacant). It was so loud it sounded like the train was scraping the walls of the tunnel. She did this repeatedly as nearly everyone near her dispersed to other areas of the train or got off and onto another car at the next stop.

Thinking this is the worst part, she then starts hacking like Gollum from Lord of the Rings and violently dry heaving onto the seat from Metro Center until she got off the train at Friendship Heights.

Most people moved away from her inside the train as she appeared possessed (exorcist style). However, at Dupont, a metro employee got on, watched her for a few minutes, and then proceeded to laugh and walk to the other end of the train and continue laughing with everyone else.

If anyone has photos of videos, she would be an excellent candidate for the hall.

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@ryan2499 · 726 weeks ago

Here's the problem with the "seatard" moniker. Some of you find it funny because it is reminiscent of 'retard' or 'retardation'. Fair enough?

These terms are linked to, or refer directly to, people medically diagnosed with mental retardation. Therefore, 'seatard' is only funny if you find people with mental retardation, funny.

I get it, "lighten up" it's the Internet, freedom of speech, we aren't talking about a person with a disability, blah, blah, blah. To a (what is now referred to in people first language) person with intellectual disabilities, or to a family member or friend of a person with intellectual disabilities, do you think it hurts less?

I don't blame any of you for not knowing that this could be hurtful. There was a time when I wasn't aware that this could be hurtful. My only hope here is to use my right to free speech to pass along a bit of knowledge and experience that I've learned over the years so maybe one or two folks here might have their hearts and minds open to a point of view they had not previously considered.

And yes, in full disclosure, I work for Special Olympics, but have been a long time follower of this blog which I greatly enjoy. Good day all.

5 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

I think Unsuck was referring to social retardation, not mental. I could be wrong though. Oh wait, I'M NEVER WRONG.

We get it, words offend people sometimes. Hell, I get offended when people say "Hi" to me. Like, really? You just said "Hi" and you DON'T EVEN KNOW ME?!! You know, stuff like that is really offensive to me, a simple Toads.
But I've grown to understand that people are just ignorant, and think they can say whatever they want to me, or talk trash about a Toads even though a Toads's never done wrong.

Did I mention this is the internet? Lots of crazy, whacky, offensive stuff on here.

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@kara_h · 726 weeks ago

You mean I am actually agreeing with Toads on something?

I have had people on the internet complain I said something offensive to whatever group. The REALLY funny bit is if they knew me in RL they would know I was either part of the group in question or do so much with the group that for sensitivity purposes I can almost be considered part of it.

Fake political correctness gets 0 sympathy from me. I get it, jump on any perceived attack, no matter how tenuous. Given what was maybe there could it possible be a play on seat-turd? With reduced emotional signal over the net it is generally agreed-on to give a little latitude, but be diligent.

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Guest · 726 weeks ago

It's politically incorrect and offensive - unless you're talking about Sarah Palin's kid.

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III · 726 weeks ago

I've worked with special kids my entire career--you want talk about understanding and patience! I'd like to think I can tell the difference between a put down and a funny joke. This is definitely the latter.

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Dan · 726 weeks ago

"These terms are linked to, or refer directly to, people medically diagnosed with mental retardation. Therefore, 'seatard' is only funny if you find people with mental retardation, funny."

That is a logical fallacy. If I find A to be funny and A shares characteristics with B, then I must find B funny, too. No, that's not how it works. A and B are comparable because of part of their term, but not because of actual content. That's why context and meaning are important.

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Top Job · 726 weeks ago

I usually hold my farts and let them stew until I need them to punish annoying passengers like door man or the various seat hogs. I eat saurkraut every morning for this purpose. Just today we were butts-to-nuts jammed on very narrow platform and some douche behind me was pushing me and stepped on my heels. So, I let it rip and, he quickly backed off. It's like a skunk defense.

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Guest · 726 weeks ago

Soon, the words "is" and "the" will be offensive
To some.

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

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Willy · 726 weeks ago

It depends on what the meaning of the word "is" is.

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Top Job · 726 weeks ago

Your a blogtard

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guest · 726 weeks ago

Rotate counterclockwise 180 degrees.

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GlenmontGirl · 726 weeks ago

I'm more concerned about the fact that his mouth is almost touching the seat. Gross!

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sketcher · 726 weeks ago

Karma is a bitch for all you idiots.

3 replies · active less than 1 minute ago

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Insulting Toads · 726 weeks ago

so is your mom ;-)

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sketcher · 726 weeks ago

Ahhhhh....more juvenile refucktards on here. Get out of your moms basement already.

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Corresponding Toads · 726 weeks ago

Hmmm it seems the Toads virus is replicating. I'll allow it.

But really, if you're going to carry on the Toads legacy, we can be just a little more clever with our insults. There's a reputation we have to uphold.

Stick to the Toads' Code acronym: Respectable, Punctual, Hipster, Lady-Killer

RPHLK